Adventures in Toddlerville

Have I mentioned I don't have much of a life outside of toddlers? Although Buddy informed me he is NOT a toddler anymore. He's a big boy. But I digress...

If I've given you the impression that Buddy is the only funny kid in my life, think again. Between my own 4-year old, the class of 3- and 4-years olds I teach at church, all of Buddy's cool friends, and then the co-op preschool I help teach, I've got more blogging material than I could ever find the time to type up.

First, there was the boy in church who asked me if I've got a baby in my tummy. I assumed it was because he knew we just adopted Pee-Wee. No. He pointed at my tummy and said he asked because I am fat. Yep. That really happened.

And then the 5-minute conversation one day at preschool between the boys about pregnancy and naming babies because one of the kids' moms is pregnant. I stayed out of the conversation and just listened and about died laughing. They sounded EXACTLY like if us moms had been sitting around shooting the breeze.

This next one happened awhile ago, but is so classic I have to include it. Back during Valentine's Day we made a list of things the kids "love" for a little book they made during preschool. Most of the boys said the obvious: pirates, treasures, dragons, their moms, etc. And if one mentioned one thing, then they all included it on their list. But Buddy's good friend Conner was rather unique. He said he loved "coloring with the color pink and sitting around."

Because I can't make a list like this and not include Buddy: He was sick for several Sundays in a row and missed a lot of church for awhile. After he finally returned, I asked him if his teachers missed him and were sorry he was sick so long. He said, "They said they missed me. And I told them I didn't come to church because I was at swimming lessons." I am so embarrassed. And I've got it on my list of things to do to let them know that we do still keep the sabbath day holy.

But this ones wins for now but I know it won't come across in text as hilarious as it did out loud. I told the kids at preschool that if they ask me for a snack during preschool, I won't give them one at all. They get so pre-occupied with the darn snack, they won't pay attention to preschool and it drives me nuts. (My kids at church do it too, but I don't feel like I can be that mean at church...) So the next time we had preschool Carson said in the sweetest and most polite voice ever, "Will you please not tell us not to ask to have a snack because it irritates me and gives me a headache." Sounded JUST like his mother who is SO nice.

Too bad Buddy sounds JUST like me when he yells at people all the time.

The Last Few Days

Before Peanut was born, M and I could not agree on his name. We fought over it for months and we finally were tired of it. In an effort to resolve the matter once and for all, I came up with a proposal that ultimately resolved the issue. I proposed to give M the naming rights if I could get my eyes fixed. We shook on it and the deal was made. I upheld my end and last Thursday, she upheld hers.

During one of my last semesters of undergrad, my sister and I took a class together. I think it might have been a marketing or accounting class or something like that. Everyday we had class, she would want to sit in the back and I would tell her that we needed to sit up front. My primary motivation for doing so was so that I could actually see what the teacher was doing on the overhead projector. Finally, I broke down and went to the eye doctor. I got the news that I had feared: I needed glasses. I wore glasses for awhile and decided while I was in law school to switch to contacts. My eyes were pretty sensitive, and so it took a while to make the transition and I even got a couple of eye infections in the meantime. Finally, this summer when I was waterskiing and couldn’t see hardly anything without glasses or contacts, I decided that this was not the way I wanted to live.

Once M and I made our deal, I began to do research and look into a number of different places to have the surgery. I finally settled on a place that I felt comfortable with, made the appointment and last Thursday I went under the laser. The procedure was quick, but it was pretty uncomfortable. However, within a few hours, I could see. It is amazing. My eyes are still sore, I have to take a lot of eye drops and they get tired at the end of the day. However, it was worth every penny to have the surgery. It is incredible to be able to wake up and see. The results have been sweet. I would recommend this surgery to anyone.

Since I have been recovering, I’ve got to spend time with the family. M’s last post described how happy she is with our two kids. I echo those sentiments. I feel extremely blessed not only to have awesome kids, but also to have such a wonderful wife. I love hanging out with her and the boys. I don’t envy her position because I know that all of us get on her nerves, but she knows that we would all be lost without her.

Because I was feeling pretty good Friday night, I decided that it would be a great time to take the family out to dinner and celebrate my new vision freedom. Jr. had been craving ribs (and so had I) so we decided to go to our favorite BBQ restaurant. I knew that Jr. would eat a lot and I also knew that a kid’s rib dinner would not satisfy him. We ended up ordering him a half rack dinner. Much like I expected, although still shocking, Jr. polished off 6 full ribs, mashed potatoes, bread, water, and a few peppermint candies. Not only did he eat all of that, he finished first and then started asking for my ribs. Oh, and did I mention that he is 4! I don’t know whether I should be proud of the boy or scared for what is to come.

Joy

If you'd like to experience pure joy, spend an hour in my shoes. I don't know how it worked out that G and I got the two greatest children in the whole world, but we did. And sometimes I just have to tell the world about them.
My baby is -- well I don't know enough adjectives, so I'll just say he's perfect -- a little piece of heaven. If I knew what I know now, I'd do the whole wait over again a million times -- and I wouldn't complain. I mean that. I know that's hard to believe for any of you who saw my emotional state in the weeks leading up to his birth, but it's true. And the best thing about him: he loves us. He must smile at us a thousand times a day. When he sees any of us, his face lights up and his coos are so sweet. Nothing sounds as good as his laugh, except of course when both Pee-Wee and Buddy are laughing. I should try to capture that on video, but I'm too busy laughing too and enjoying the bond the two of them share to run and get the camera.

And then my 4-year old. If you can look past his energy level and his mouthiness and his photographic memory, then he's pretty amazing too. I just ADORE him. I've been keeping a log of some of the sweet or unusual things he's prayed for over the past few days. I hope I never forget what he was like as a small child. And I hope I never forget what an awesome privilege it is to be the mother of these two little boys.


"Please bless..."

• Me that I will not squish Pee-Wee's tummy
  
• Me that when I'm five I'll go to school


• Me that I can see a Sum 41 concert and they can talk and sing


• Me that I will be nice to my friends


• Me that I won't be a smart mouth


• Me that I will be a good boy


• Me that I will be killer whale


• Jesus that He won't die on the cross


• The sea lions at the zoo


• Me that I will be able to go to the zoo (He prays for this and the next one EVERY single night. I wish the Lord will answer his prayer already and improve the weather, so we can go!)


• The zoo


• And then tonight: The gospel, the missionaries, and my testimony

Back on Skis

As I started to write this post, M asked what I was talking about. After I told her, she said that no one cared what I had to say (I think she’s getting cocky because she draws so many more comments than I do). She is probably right, but I don’t care. Instead, I think I’ll make it longer than normal. Over the last number of years, I’ve tried to make it a point to take a trip to Reno to go snowboarding with my dad at Mt. Rose. This year was no exception.

I first started skiing when I was in the 4th grade. By 7th grade I started snowboarding (back when snowboarding was a new sport and people would ask questions like “are those things fun?”). I continued to ski and snowboard until college. Then I started snowboarding exclusively. I have been having the itch to get back on skis for a few years.

This year I happened to stop by the REI winter sale and they had ski boots for so cheap that I had no choice but to buy them. Then my dad found a great deal on skis at the REI in Reno. Again, such a great deal I had to get them. As it turned out, I bought the same boots that he uses, so we now have matching skis and boots. When we got to Reno, I had the binding mounted and we were ready to go. My dad and I headed up to Mt. Rose.

We got up to the parking lot and I was unloading my skis. Just then a guy walked by and called my name. It turned out to be a hardcore snowboarder buddy of mine from high school. I hadn’t seen him for over 15 years. Back in high school I was kind of the ringleader of a snowboarder group that would cut school whenever there was a big snowfall the night before. What was ironic about this is that the when he saw my skis he asked what I was doing. I felt like I’d been caught cheating on my snowboard.

The first time I stepped into the bindings, I could hardly remember what I was doing. The ride down the lift was unnerving as my skis seemed to have a mind of their own. The first run down we went on a wide open run that wasn’t very steep. That was all I needed. My legs remembered what they were doing and the rest of the day was spent carving up the hill. It was killer. We ended up going a total of three days while we were in town. The weather was awesome and the conditions were good. It was a blast and I was completely exhausted by the end of the third day. I still have a smile on my face. I love snowboarding AND skiing.

Who's Curious About What I've Been Up To?

Well, I'll tell you anyway. I've had a sick child every day for the past month -- but Buddy was sick even before then with those infamous ear infections. I keep telling myself if this goes on for another day, I'm going to pull my hair out. But I'm looking on the bright side and realize that things could be worse. My parents have been attending to sick parents during the middle of the night and cleaning up after them. Let's put it this way: I'd much rather have a two-month old baby's vomit on myself than that of a 75-year old man. So yeah. Things could be worse. And they were worse six months ago. At least I've got my precious baby in my arms. You won't hear me complaining about that.

• This all started with Buddy's raging double ear infections. Just as his deafness was going away... all hell broke loose.


• Did you know that newborns can get the stomach flu? Me either. And yeah, it's as bad as it sounds. Pee-Wee was sick for a good ten days. Four days of vomiting, a thousand hours spent rehydrating with a syringe, a million nasty diapers, nearly a full pound of weight lost on a baby that was already too small, three new cans of soy formula, one evening spent at the children's hospital, and a partridge in a pear tree later -- he got well. For a few days anyway.


• Meanwhile, Buddy also got the pukes. Thankfully his only lasted for a few hours and he survived mostly unscathed. And by the grace of God, he didn't get any vomit on the carpet or couch! That made life easier. Everybody always says, "Just wait until you have more than one child with the stomach flu at the same time! Than you'll be initiated into the amazing mom's club." Well, I've been initiated.


• Just as Pee-Wee was getting well, Buddy came down with a cold. How he got a cold, I have no idea because we hadn't left the house in days. We were due to leave for Reno to visit G's parents on Wednesday and by then Buddy seemed to be on the mend. So off we went.


• By Saturday, Pee-Wee was starting to cough a lot. His reflux had been better the past two days and we were just thinking that the new soy formula he had been on was really helping in that regard. By the way, the flu did a real number on his poor digestive track and he was no longer able to handle milk. So we switched to soy. The doctor reassured us it would be temporary, but with the improving reflux, we wondered if maybe he had a problem with milk all along. After all, his birth father is allergic to dairy and never grew out of it.


• By Sunday, Pee-Wee was refusing food, was congested, coughing and wheezing, and had a fever. Monday was worse and by then I was convinced he had RSV. We were to drive home on Tuesday and everything I read online said that if you can get the baby to sleep, that's the best remedy for RSV. Boy can that kid sleep. He slept the whole way home, which in retrospect, was critical for his recovery. I took him into the doctor first thing on Wednesday and RSV was quickly confirmed. Thank goodness he had been getting his rest because between more rest and an inhaler, he's getting well on his own without any hospital visits.


• So that brings us to yesterday. Buddy woke up with really bad asthma again. I woke up with nasty allergies, so I foolishly assumed he was healthy, just suffering from his usual allergies. Off to church we went.


• As we were leaving church I mentioned to a friend that if we have one more sickness or medical "emergency" I was going to lose it. Just as those words left my lips, I heard Buddy's blood-curdling scream. He had slammed his thumb in his friend's car door. It broke the skin and bled and swelled up right away. But luckily he's fine today, even if it's sore and swollen still.


• So Buddy's asthma then became a lot worse and today after preschool he informed me he's sick. This isn't allergies, he said. Why couldn't he have told me that before preschool? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


• And Pee-Wee is extremely constipated. This is a constant battle with both kids, but usually apple juice does the trick with Pee-Wee. It's not working this time. Which makes his reflux flare up. All that pressure in his gut forces everything he eats right back at us. Can someone tell me how we could possibly have two children with reflux and chronic constipation? What are the odds?


• So yeah. Motherhood is awesome. Since Pee-Wee has been born I've forked out 10 co-pays for the two kids. That's out of control. But I've been including a special thanks for good health insurance every night in my prayers.


• But the good news is: G hasn't been sick at all. He's only paid one co-pay this month and that's to schedule lasik eye surgery. I haven't been sick either and I've only paid two co-pays this month and those have been for dermatology appointments. I won't bore you (or embarrass myself) with those stories.


• Oh, and I got nine loads of laundry done today. That's pretty good news.


• And the best news of all: My sister is having her first baby tomorrow or the next day!!!!!

How's your health? And did you find anyone else that looks good in green today?

The Color Green

Who all is sick and tired of looking at that sleep post every time they check our blog? Are you ready for a huge change in subject?

I'm not Irish, and I'd never consider myself a fashionista. But in honor of St. Patrick's Day next week, I thought I'd throw out a little suggestion to you. In my humble opinion, the color "grass green" is totally hot and not enough people are wearing it.

I bought a v-neck long-sleeved green shirt a year or two ago and every single time I wear it, I get a ton of compliments along the lines of "that color is so nice on you." How interesting that I've never received any compliments on any of my other clothes. But that shirt gets a reaction. So I just bought myself a green and white sweater and thus my theory started to unfold. Same reaction every time I wear it.

Buddy is really into the color green. It's been his favorite color for about six months now. He has quite a few grass-green shirts (he loves John Deere) and I keep buying more because the color looks really good with his translucent complexion. (Notice the picture to the left)

I started putting two-and-two together. I look good in green. Buddy looks good in green. We have totally different complexions, eye colors, and hair color. Hmmm... maybe everybody looks good in green! So I started noticing and wouldn't you know, it's true.

Not earth shattering (like getting a baby to sleep through the night). But I'd love to be credited with bringing in a "color green fashion revolution" -- kind of like how everyone wears brown these days. On Monday, pay close attention to what everyone is wearing. I bet you'll agree with me.

All Aboard the Sleep Train

I only have two talents: packing a box/car/closet/dishwasher and getting babies to sleep through the night. Until I had children, I only thought I had one talent. I really felt sorry for myself! Well, now I have to say I'd rather have these talents than be able to sing, decorate, paint, whatever. Nothing is better than sleep. Wouldn't you agree? And NOTHING is better than a precious baby that sleeps through the night.

One quick disclaimer. It really hoarks a lot of people off when I brag about getting my sleep these days. If you're the jealous type, I suggest you don't read this blog entry. I don't get mad when someone sings well, so I don't know why this bothers people so much. But, obviously sleep is a sensitive issue. But, they say if you've got it flaunt it: so here goes! Plus, 95% of the people who read my blog are either pregnant or have a newborn and I'd really love to help. Be warned, this process is a lot of work and you will be exhausted the first few weeks. But it'll be worth it. And by the way, I don't judge you if your baby doesn't sleep through the night. I'm not like that...

So, without further small-talk, please pull up a chair for the first ever Another Day-Another Dollar Blog Talent Show!!!!!

First of all, I do not believe in cry-it-out for newborns. I do think it's a good idea for older babies, but if you stick to my tips, you won't have an older baby that needs to cry it out.

I hear people tell me every day that I'm lucky because their baby will NOT sleep. Maybe I am lucky and maybe your baby won't sleep. Maybe, but I doubt it. One of my favorite bloggers just spent the last week successfully sleep-training her 7-month old. She has 3-year old triplets that slept through the night at 14 weeks (5 weeks after adjusting for prematurity). It was HER discipline that worked with all of her children. (Her discipline just came a little later the second time around.) My opinion is that success depends more on mom and dad's discipline than on baby's temperment.

Let me tell you a little about my good little sleepers.

Buddy was tiny when he was born. He was 5 lbs 13 oz when we got him at 5 days old. He was wide awake the first day and night we had him. I remember thinking from day one that I must have been mistaken about that "sleeping like a baby" notion. Aren't babies supposed to sleep all the time? I even asked my caseworker about it. I learned that Buddy didn't need a lot of sleep and still doesn't. It would take forever to get him to sleep -- still does. We'd have to rock him and ever-so-gently put him in his carseat (where he slept) when he was drowsy. Any sudden movement or sound would wake him right up. He was busy and strong from day one. He hated being swaddled and was a 5-pound Houdini. He would fight and twist and fight some more to get out of his blankets... and by the time he did that, he'd be wide awake. And boy could that kid eat. He wouldn't tolerate being hungry and is exactly the same to this day. Buddy had really bad reflux and we had to suction his nose several times a day and night so he could breathe. At his two-month appointment, our pediatrician told me Buddy was beyond ready to sleep through the night. I had already been prepping for it and he was already sleeping 8 hours, I just didn't think a baby that young was "allowed" to go without food ALL night. This was Buddy we were talking about. A veracious eater.

Well, that night he slept 12 hours -- at 9 weeks old. I won't go into the details about how I got him to do it because I think there's a much easier way. A way I perfected with baby #2.

Pee-Wee was bigger when we got him (7 lbs 8 oz) but was four weeks early, so he was sound asleep for the first few weeks of his life. You couldn't wake that baby up for anything. He even ate in his sleep. It took forever, but he could do it. Before he was born, EVERYONE told me to rest up because there was no way he'd be as good of a sleep as Buddy. But the moment I met him, I knew he'd be a piece of cake -- he was that calm. His birth mom warned us that he hated to be swaddled. G and I thought, oh no. Getting the baby to sleep through the night is so much easier if they're swaddled, but we did it with Buddy, so we can do it again. Well, they were wrong. Pee-Wee loves to be swaddled. It's his favorite thing in the whole world! Pee-Wee's reflux is even worse than Buddy's was -- if that's possible. He chokes and spits up all night long, so we have him sleep upright in a bouncy seat. He was having growing problems early on, so he's now on medication to help his reflux and to help him grow. With all that said, his pediatrician and I agree that he does not need food during the night. Food is for day and sleep is for night.
Pee-Wee slept 8 hours at 3 weeks. It was still hit-or-miss at that point, but by 8 weeks he slept 10 hours. He's 12 weeks now and he sleeps between 10 and 12 hours at night with several naps during the day.

So, to summarize: both of my babies slept through the night as newborns. Through reflux and illness (we're just coming out of a fun bout with the stomach flu for both kids) these children sleep and so do I. And it's wonderful! These boys have very different temperments, biology's and sleep patterns -- and your baby will obviously be different than my babies. Buddy is busy and needs very little sleep. He stopped napping well at 2 1/2 and was very difficult to get him to nap even as a baby. But he always slept well at night. Even if it took him forever to get to sleep, once he did, he slept well until morning. Pee-Wee is calm and goes with the flow. He needs a lot of sleep and will fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I have a feeling he'll be one to nap until he's 3 or 4 or beyond! Let's hope anyway. So it really matters very little what kind of child you have.

Step one: I believe in starting this process from day one. A newborn naturally sleeps more than say a 2-month old or an 8-month old. Of course, a newborn also eats more often, but you can't possibly eliminate feedings if your baby doesn't know how to sleep well for long stretches on his own. Does that make sense? I will repeat: This process must start right away. Here's why:

At a few months old babies learn "object permanence," which means they learn that objects and people exist even if they can't see/smell/hear them. A six-month old baby will wake up and remember their mommy and will cry. A newborn will not do that. They may wake up and know they are hungry or uncomfortable, but they won't wake up and want you per se. I hope that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings, but it's true. If a mom that smelled and looked like you showed up to breastfeed, the baby could be calmed (of course that would never happen... ) It is so much easier to get a baby to sleep through the night if they don't know you are in the other room. An older baby knows you are. And good luck getting them to sleep on their own at that point. That's where cry-it-out becomes helpful.

Step two: Most babies have days and nights mixed up. So what. Your first few weeks will be hell as you try to sort that out, but it'll be worth it in the long-run. So you're up all night for a few weeks. It's better than being up all night for a few months. Do not give in just because you're tired. Oh, I was sorely tempted with both of my babies. When Buddy was a newborn I had to finish up my job, so I was up early every morning to get ready for work. And we were moving. And G was a brand new attorney. And it was Christmas. I was exhausted to put it mildly. But I didn't give up.

Step three: I do not believe in letting my babies sleep with me. I did it occasionally with Buddy and it never worked. I did it twice for a few hours at a time with Pee-Wee and it really set us back. I think he would have slept 10 hours much earlier if I hadn't done that. From day one, let your baby sleep on his own. I hold Pee-Wee the majority of the day, but never at night. You will not sleep well if you've got a baby in your arms. And they won't either. Every little move or sound either of you makes will disturb the other. Not only that, it's a SIDS risk and I just get really freaked out about possibly crushing my baby. But again, I don't judge you if you do. It's just not helpful in the long-run.

Step four: This step is key! Swaddle with two blankets. Get a stretchy thin blanket and swaddle as tight as you can. Then get a heavier blanket and swaddle again as tight as you can. This works for most babies, but not for all (Buddy), so if your baby hates to be swaddled, swaddle him anyway but leave his arms out. Before you try that, though, if he hates to be swaddled, do it tighter. I think that was the issue with Pee-Wee. His birth mom wasn't doing it tight enough. Does that make sense? They were snug and warm in the womb, afterall!

Step five: Have a night-time routine from day one. We change Pee-Wee into pajamas, double-swaddle, feed, burp, and place him in his bouncy seat. Some babies (Buddy) will first need to be rocked until drowsy.

Step six: Put your baby to sleep drowsy, not asleep. They need to learn to self-sooth and this is so much easier when they're little and they don't know any better. Pee-Wee is sound asleep by the time the bottle hits his lips, so we've had to teach him to put himself to sleep during naps.

Step seven: Put your baby to sleep in the same exact place every night. Pee-Wee sleeps in his bouncy seat right next to the couch. This just goes back to the routine idea. Both of my babies loved the bouncy seat with a vibrator. It's cozier than a crib but more upright than a bassinet. And choose a bedtime based on your goal of getting your baby to sleep 12 hours. Truthfully, I need to be better about this. I'd like Pee-Wee to get up around 8:30 or 9:00, so I should put him to bed around then too. This is hard, especially since I love cuddling with just him after Buddy goes to bed.

Step eight: When your baby still needs to eat during the night, keep the lights low and do not interact with them. That's harder than it sounds because there is nothing cuter than a newborn baby swaddled up just staring at you... but try to resist and spend your time with them during the day. If you do turn on the light or TV, cover your baby's eyes with a burp cloth.

Step nine: When Buddy was a baby I was complaining to a friend that when I would change his diaper during the night it would wake him up so much it would be hours before he'd get back to sleep. She asked why I was even changing his diaper at night. And that was a good point. In my experience, brand new babies pee a lot and you have to stay on top of their diaper changes. But after a few weeks, just put a big name-brand diaper on the baby at night and they'll be fine until morning. If they poop you'll have to change them, but Pee-Wee only pooped once during the night. Maybe I'll be charged with child abuse: but if they leak during the night, so what. Who cares? They'll be asleep and swaddled with two blankets, so they won't even notice and it's a lot easier to throw a couple blankets in the laundry in the morning than to be up all night with a wide-awake baby. And if you're not feeding them as much during the night, they certainly won't be peeing as much. And if they're consistently leaking, get bigger diapers.

Step ten: If your baby wakes up, don't rush to feed him. Many, many times my babies would go back to sleep if I waited or jiggled the bouncy seat or reswaddled or said "shhhh" in their ear or put the binky in their mouth. Babies don't wake up just because they're hungry.

I don't have strong opinions about binky's, by the way. I don't like them, but they do work. Buddy hated them and never got coordinated enough to keep the darn thing in his mouth. He did get to sleep easier when he had one in his mouth, but he couldn't ever keep it there -- and then he'd wake up mad. Pee-Wee on the other hand loves his, but doesn't depend on it. I actually think they make it harder for the baby to sleep through the night because no newborn is proficient at keeping it in. But do whatever works for you. If you're baby doesn't love it, go without I guess.

I know what you're thinking: You feed your baby formula. I breastfeed, which takes a lot less time to digest. I don't dispute that. I really don't. BUT... You can't tell me that it takes 3 hours to digest breast milk but 10 hours to digest formula. No, of course not. And if it did, why did Buddy start rooting and crying like a crazy baby as soon as his tummy got empty during the day -- but was totally fine all night? Breast milk may digest quicker, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not that much quicker. When we're talking a full night, it's not going to make a difference. Yeah, your baby might not sleep through the night as early or might not sleep as long, but I bet it's still possible.

I thought long and hard about this issue and this is what I think: it's easier to breastfeed a baby in your sleep (at least I assume), so it's asking a lot to get up and work on getting your baby back to sleep if they wake up. For us formula moms, you have to get up to make the bottle and then stay awake to feed the baby which took forever with my little Pee-Wee. By the time I did all that, I was wide awake because there's no way you can hold a bottle upright in your sleep. And if I was going to be wide awake, I might as well spend my awake time getting Pee-Wee to stay asleep so he didn't do that to me again! So I think that's a bigger issue than the digestion thing.

Step eleven: When you're done feeding, put your baby right back to bed. If they won't go to sleep or if they start to cry, pick them up, console them and put them right back to bed. You may have to repeat this for hours, but do not let the baby sleep with you. I did this every night until Pee-Wee slept through the night and low and behold, he knows how to put himself to sleep.

Step twelve: Sleep begets sleep. Your baby will sleep a lot better at night if they are well-rested during the day. It's a law of nature, I think. If your baby misses naps or gets overly stimulated during the day, your nights will be a lot worse.

Now some comments on older babies that once knew how to sleep through the night, but no longer do. Go re-read my feelings on object permanence. At around six months, Buddy would wake up screaming for me. I refused to mess with the good fortune we had by removing him from his crib. So when he would do that, I'd give him the shirt I had worn that day. He'd cuddle with that, possibly thinking about me as he drifted back to sleep. Worked every time. This will NOT work if you pick them up and comfort them. Why would they then go back to sleep with a shirt when they've realized they can go back to sleep with you? When Buddy started waking up at night I also gave him some small stuffed animals and a blanket. After a few months he fell head-over heels in love with Teddy, one of the "lovies" I provided him with. Buddy sucked on Teddy for months and years and still to this day he receives so much comfort from Teddy. I think this is so important for all children: to have something that is comforting besides mommy and daddy.

If you want your baby to sleep longer in the morning, might I suggest dark blinds. I cannot understand why people put white blinds, thin blinds, or no blinds at all in their kids' rooms and then they can't figure out why they wake up at dawn. Up until this summer, Buddy never woke up before 9:00. Now he gets up between 8:00 and 9:00, but if he ever sleeps somewhere without dark blinds, he's up at 6:00 just like every other kid in America without dark blinds. And strangely, the few times we've had friends and guests spend the night (or even nap) at our house, they sleep longer too! I love dark blinds.

Well, I think I'll stop there. Please leave a comment if you have any other ideas. Now, if anyone has the talent of having patience with a 4-year old, please let me know. That's something I have not mastered.