20 Minutes

I had the most interesting day yesterday. By the time you're done reading this you're going to really wish you were a 'fly on the wall' to really witness all of this first-hand.

When I woke up this morning had a list of housework I needed to get done: fold several loads of laundry, mop, clean three bathrooms, get the boys to clean their bedroom and playroom, and much more. I couldn't bare the thought of working, so I put on a new skirt and got too dressed up to clean. Because if I went through the trouble to get dressed up, apply make-up, do my hair I certainly couldn't clean all day. I sort of wanted to take the boys the zoo instead. We’ve done lots of fun things this week and I’ve totally neglected responsibility, so going to the zoo was totally impractical, not to mention Sam wouldn’t get a nap if we went.

After a visit/meeting with a wonderful friend and our new relief society president in the morning, I asked the boys if they would rather clean all day or go to the zoo. Buddy informed me my friend's two children spent the entire time they were here cleaning our upstairs. I went upstairs and was totally in shock to find his room picked up, bed made, and the playroom totally spotless too. I had a pile of towels on the floor in the hall that needed to be folded and they were in a neat pile.

A few minutes later we were in the car.

20 Minutes: Time spent looking for a parking space.

When we arrived at the zoo it was terribly busy. Last week we attempted the zoo, drove around forever looking for parking, and we ended up leaving and playing at the park instead. The boys were disappointed last week, (the same exact thing happened earlier in the summer...) so I just couldn’t do that again to them today.

20 Minutes: Time spent staring at the guy holding a turkey vulture.

Buddy was disappointed to learn the bird shows had been canceled for the day. But we quickly realized that a zookeeper was holding a turkey vulture for kids to look at up close. As other children came and went and asked a question or two each, Buddy stood and stared and asked question, after question and offered comment after comment.

20 Minutes: Time spent using a stick to play with the penguins.

When we got to the penguin exhibit, Buddy had a small bamboo stick in his hand. He put it near the glass and two penguins quickly swam over and followed it wherever Buddy moved it. Buddy and Sambo got quite a kick out of this game and soon their laughter attracted quite a crowd. Who knew that penguins are that social?

2o Minutes: Time it took me to calm down after a random lady yelled at Buddy.

Buddy was minding his own business, peering into the tidepool exhibit. He had his same bamboo stick in his hand and some ornery lady (not a zoo employee) came up to him and shouted at him not to hurt the sea life with his stick. Obviously she had no way of knowing Buddy's love of animals and that he would NEVER harm one intentionally. But still. He wasn't doing anything wrong, so I jumped to his defense and said some sort of sarcastic comment to her about me appreciating her trying to parent my son. She got super defensive, so I told her that maybe she shouldn't worry so much about what everyone else is doing -- and that I wasn't the slightest bit worried about him looking at the animals while holding a stick. I love it when people assume that since I look young I don't have any control over my kids. And that I'm not going to stand up for them when they are mistreated.

20 Minutes (times 3): Time spent at the sea lions.

Despite the crabby lady, we had a really fun time and were just about to leave but had stopped off at the sea lions on our way out. We usually hit the sea lions near the beginning because they are a favorite, but Buddy had to go to the bathroom, so we bypassed them early on.

Anyway, I was starting to walk away to leave when Sambo's birthmom walked by. She saw me and just lit up. She said she was there with all of her sisters and her dad, who was visiting from Utah.

Now, we just saw her last week because her sister, boyfriend and their daughter are visiting for 2 weeks from New York. They had never met Sambo and really wanted to meet all of us. We had a really fun visit a week ago but she mentioned that her dad was coming to visit with his wife and that she really wanted him to see Sambo too. She figured he wouldn’t be open to it (he isn’t supportive of the openness of our adoption, among other things.). I told her that if he changed his mind, I’d be totally fine with that. I didn’t give it another thought, though.

So our chance meeting at the zoo was quite a shock. We spent about an hour hanging out with them casually there by the sea lions. Her dad was actually thrilled to see us. He was so warm to me and just couldn’t believe how big Sambo had gotten and how darling he is (he saw him and us when Sambo was born and he was extremely cold and short with us then). You should have seen the look of pride and joy in his eyes.

I'm calling this run-in a miracle. It was important for Sambo's birthmom to have her dad meet us. She was heart-broken during placement that he wasn’t supportive. However, her dad was uncomfortable with a formal visit. So I felt inspired, if you will, to go to the zoo. And our random meeting was perfect. No awkwardness in the least. But rather love and genuine concern for each other.

20 Minutes: Time Sambo spent napping on the train.

(I look ridiculous in this picture!)

Her dad had bought tickets for their big group to ride the train, but asked us if he could give them to us for the boys to enjoy. Buddy was quick to take him up on that offer. After we said our goodbyes with them, we boarded the train. Within a few minutes, Sambo was asleep, though.

20 Minutes: Time spent cleaning up Sambo's dinner mess.

When we got home I warmed up leftover pesto. Oh my gosh, Sambo made a big mess. He recently has been bothered by dirty hands, so he wipes them on his shirt or his hair to get them clean. So by the end of dinner, he looked like he'd been swimming in a bog. He was covered in green from head to toe.

20 Minutes: Time spent cleaning out the bathtub.

Because of his mess during dinner, I had to give him a bath, despite my better judgement. He poops anywhere from 2-4 times a day, and he had only pooped once that day. So I knew it was risky. Sure enough, within minutes of his bum hitting that warm water, we had a huge mess on our hands. I've now learned that showers are my preferred method for him, even if he cries uncontrollably because he's scared to death. Too bad. At least I don't have to scrub out poop several times a week.

20 Minutes (times 2): Time spent talking with Buddy in bed.

Boy was I glad to get him to bed! G was out of of town, so I promised Buddy he could sleep in bed with me. As I was kissing Buddy goodnight, he asked me if we could talk about Sambo's adoption. Last week when we saw Sambo's birthmom, he asked me to talk to him about his own adoption and he asked some really amazing questions then. So I was happy to lay down, snuggle with him, and answer his most recent questions. Our conversation was just precious. I love his active mind and his amazing ability to understand concepts that are way beyond his years. Although, he certainly gives me a run for my money when it comes to answering!

Here's a sampling of some of his questions and some of my responses.

Buddy: I want you to tell me about Sambo's adoption.
I shared the brief-version of Sambo's birth and placement. I reminded him of the first time they met.

Buddy: How did he come out of his birthmom?
He now knows what a vagina and a c-section are. (He just wouldn't let that question go, and this is not the first time he's asked. Yikes!)

Buddy: How bloody was Sambo's birthmom?
Buddy: How bloody was Sambo?
He was fascinated by the details of the c-section.

Buddy: I really would like another baby in this family.
He now knows we'd like to adopt again. He is certain our next baby is a girl. Why will our next baby be a girl?
Buddy: Because we have enough boys around here.
He likes the names Bella and Christy but he also likes one of the two names I've picked out. The other he said was ugly.

Buddy: How are we going to find another birthmom? We should ask Jesus to give Sambo's birthmom another baby.
When I told him that probably wasn't a good idea, he had another idea.
Buddy: Maybe we should just pray that Jesus tells us who our baby's birth mom should be.

Buddy: Is Sambo's birthmom in our family?
No, but she's a really special person who we love and think about a lot.

Buddy: How did Sambo get made?
What do you mean?
Buddy: How did he turn into a baby inside of her tummy?
You mean, how did Jesus make Sambo? (I figured he had already learned enough about the birds and the bees for one evening so I re-directed his thinking a bit.) Jesus created his blood and his body and his spirit.

Buddy: I'm going to practice making blood.
That won't work because you're not Jesus. At this point I said he could have three more questions and then it was time for bed.

Buddy: What happens when baby's don't get sealed to their families?
Long explanation of why his birthmom placed him for adoption and how strongly I believe in the temple.

Buddy: Can you tell me more about birthmoms?
Birthmoms are brave and they love their babies so much they want them to have the best life possible. They think about their babies all the time and are proud of all the things they learn and do.

Buddy: I don't know all the questions to ask. Can you tell me what else I need to know?
Crying started when I broke the news that I had to leave so he could go to sleep. But I'd return to snuggle with him more when I was ready for bed...