The Ultimate Adoption Story

Last year at Christmas time I was  up all night trying to teach Sambo to sleep through the night.  I had a lot of time on my hands during the the night so I read a novel about the love story between Jesus' parents, Mary and Joseph.  As I read, I thought a lot about my newborn baby and how his adoption story related to the Savior's birth and life.  I had a bunch of ideas and thought once I could articulate them, I ought to write an essay or at the very least a blog entry about it all.  In the last year I've thought about those ideas often.  Joseph was an adoptive father, although we don't often mention "adoption" when talking about Christmas.  But besides trusting Mary, which is a remarkable part of the story, he loved and reared Jesus even though he wasn't Jesus' father.  I wish I had the ability to articulate how those ideas affect me.

This week I watched the "Home For the Holidays" special on TV.  It was an hour-long show highlighting special families who have adopted children from the foster care system.  Celebrities with a special connection to adoption performed.  The show started with a song by Faith Hill, who was adopted.  As the song started I assumed it was a song about a birth mom, since the show was about adoption, after all.  But a few moments in, I realized it was a song about Mary and Joseph and birth of Jesus.  The song was fantastic and if it was still on youtube, I'd post a link to her performance.   Trust me when I say you are really missing out.  Instead you can watch the music video which is good too.  I was so moved by her performance I watched it several times that night and each time I thought, this is the exact idea that I've had about Mary and Joseph and how much the Savior has to do with adoption.  Obviously he makes adoption happen, but his is a story of adoption too. 

Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

The Very Best Week in My Whole Life

There are two things you must know about me before reading any further. First of all, I absolutely detest the snow. I have never appreciated it. Although G is a die-hard ski and snowboarding enthusiast, I have absolutely no desire to try. I don't enjoy the looks of snow, I hate being cold, living in Utah drove me nuts, I hate driving in it, I hate how it ruins travel plans, and no, I don't like sledding either. And I'm totally secure in the fact that all that information makes me rather un-cool. So what.

Another thing about me: I have been trying to devise a sneaky plan where I tell everyone I'm going on vacation, make arrangements for church, etc and then stay home and do nothing for a week. Everyone will think I'm gone so I won't have any responsibilities and the phone won't ring. I tried to convince G to let me do this over Thanksgiving, but he thought that was ridiculous.

So I've just experienced my dream week and it was all the results of a huge winter storm that hit our area with several inches of snow and ice. So I'm changing my tune about snow. I think I might LOVE it now.

Mr. I-Refuse-to-Walk-But-I-Can-Stand-No-Problem -- and Buddy in front of the tree

Here are the highlights of my week.

Buddy on a walk around the neighborhood last night. The snow went to his knees and the poor kid only was wearing vans on his feet.

• I only got dressed once this week. I've worn my pajamas every day for over a week!
• I've sat on the couch either reading or watching TV for hours this week.
• I've made delicious meals for dinner every night.
• I even made the decision on Monday that I was going to gamble on the weather and not plan my very big Christmas sharing time that I was in charge of. Nor was I going to break my back and coordinate Christmas gifts/handwritten notes for 140 teachers and Primary children. This is totally unlike me to procrastinate or blow something like that off, and it felt WONDERFUL!!!!!
• I did a little scrapbooking.
• I've played with my children for hours, talked to them, read to them, sat there and watched them and never once felt like I should be doing anything else.
• I vacuumed under the couch cushions (a 15 minute project I've been meaning to get to for a year. But who has time to do cleaning that is never noticed?)
• I baked cookies.
• I took more naps than I can count.
• I went to bed super late every night and slept in every morning. My dream schedule.
• I had two girls' nights because the evenings tended to be a bit better weather-wise than the mornings/days.
• We had no church two weeks in a row!!!!!!
• I watched Buddy re-arrange the ornaments on the Christmas tree at least 300-400 times a day.
• Have I mentioned I sat on the couch for hours each day?

Buddy's rosy cheeks after our walk last night.

This was the best Christmas gift I could have ever received. A wonderfully amazingly relaxing week. And to think we've now received 8 inches of new snow and a sheet of ice over the top plus it's Christmas and my birthday and my sister is coming into town -- so this coming week is looking pretty enjoyable too.

Snow Day

The weather man had been predicting snow for the last number of days. In fact, the possibility of snow took up the first 8 minutes of the Thursday newscast before they even got to the story about a bank bombing that killed two people. This has always amused me since we have moved to Portland. The slightest hint of snow or a single snowflake puts this place into a panic. Growing up, we would get snow in the valley. Nothing would get canceled, everyone would go about their business as usual. Then, when living in Utah, the snow was worse, but everything would still happen as normal. This was just one of those things that you dealt with.

Yesterday, it snowed a few inches. There was around the clock new coverage of the snow. Everyone on the news was warning everyone to stay indoors and not to step foot outside. Everything was canceled. I guess in defense of Oregonians, the snow can lead to dangerous ice which is extremely problematic. That coupled with how Oregonians drive or rather attempt to drive on the roads does make it better for people to stay inside. Plus it gives me a chance to get Buddy out of the house and chuck a few snowballs.

Happy Birthday, G

G turned the big THIRTY-FOUR yesterday. That's what I like to call "the mid thirties." Yikes!

There were a few highlights to the day that I think are mildly blog-worthy. First of all, we started the day with Buddy coming into the room to say there was a naked guy who was showing his bum on our computer. I sprang from the bed to see what in the world he was talking about. It turns out he was talking about a card G had received from his sister that we had set on the computer desk. It did have a guy showing his bum, but it wasn't nearly as vulgar as Buddy made it sound.

Then we gave presents and a hand-made card from Buddy. I had picked out some vintage wooden "Ski Mt. Bachelor" signs for his office back in July while in Sunriver. I've been stowing them away for his birthday ever since. Buddy's card was classic. It was a picture of a monster "a long time ago" with holes in the paper for eyes (three of them) and smeared colorful markers replicating something sort of like the northern lights. Inside he wrote "Dear G. I can't believe you are growing up so fast." He came up with that himself and sounded out the first few words. Classic! Especially how he called his father by his first name.

We hung out, went to the gym, and came home. G read and I did a few things around the house. Don't get bored-This next part of the story is priceless. I left with Buddy to get a babysitter and saw our bishop driving around the neighborhood wearing a Santa hat with a load of Christmas trees. He was delivering to an older couple and asked if we had a tree because it was getting dark and he had a few extra. I said we didn't have a tree, but G hates Christmas trees and "the baby is a pain in the rear and will pull a tree over." "And at this point in the season, what's the point." (I was quoting what G would have said if he was there. I love Christmas trees.) Buddy was frantic with glee because of the prospect of the bishop giving us a tree! I told him to see if there was someone more in need then us and come back if he thought that was the right thing to do... "Oh and by the way, it's G's birthday," I told him.

We arrived from picking up the babysitter around the same time the bishop showed up with the tree. So the birthday boy got a tree (which he just loves) on this big day. Christmas miracles do happen.

So then we went to one of our favorite places on earth -- The Me.lting P.ot. We have learned to get a reservation plus if they know it's a special occasion they'll put you in a private area. We love this because it's private and fun. But the best part is eavesdropping on the the folks near us. We couldn't see them because it was private, but if we listened carefully we could get in on their conversation. They were pretty dull unfortunately except when they badgered their waiter the whole time (Unlike last time when we eavesdropped on a young couple on a second date. Who takes a second date to a private table there?! We heard a lot of awkward conversation, a lot of pauses which I found out was kissing when I got up to "go to the bathroom" so I could see what they were doing.) Dinner was fabulous, by the way.

We then went to Twilight, which was better than I expected. Thanks to some amazing coupons from our entertainment book, we got G's ticket free and my ticket four dollars off. So we paid six bucks for movies that should have cost twenty-three. One of these days I'll have to blog about my love of coupons. And we ended the day reading late into the night and hoping for cancelled church because of an impending blizzard. Church has been cancelled by the way, and we have approximately two inches of snow.

I hope it was a good day for G! A far cry from most of his other birthdays when he always had finals in college and law school. Or the last few years when he's had evening work meetings on his big day. Or last year when we tried to go to dinner without a reservation and got turned away. I'm glad it could be a special day because he deserves it. He works so hard and does so much for our family. He is more of an involved father than most fathers -- and our boys adore him for it. He lets me be me, goes along with my ideas, and when he is too stubborn, the good bishop puts him in his place with a free Christmas tree. He is a terrific person and a great companion. He makes such an effort to make me and the boys happy and I appreciate that so much.

Perfection

Do you need perfection in your life?

Here he is.

Little Sambo turned ONE on Friday. I can hardly believe how quickly the last year has gone and how much he has changed during that time. He came into the world under very difficult circumstances, but you'd never know it. He has the calmest and most happy personality. Lots of people say they have great and adorable children, but honestly with Sambo it's true.

I'm totally addicted to kissing him and I try to hug and hold him as much as humanly possible. He is truly a gift to our family and while I'm so sad he's changing from a baby, I love every piece of him and can hardly wait to see what type of boy he'll grow to be. Although I've already got a pretty good idea.

So far, these are a few of my favorite things about him:

* He epitomizes joy.

* His gentle personality.

* His eyes. Stunning!

* His soft brown skin.

* His quick hands and fast legs. Apparently we only are allowed the busiest of children.

* He loves me and he reaches for me every time he sees me. But he's not at all clingy.

* He loves his brother and tolerates all sorts of annoyance from him.

* The way his face lights up when he sees his family.

* His squeal when I come to get him after a nap.

* How easy it is to get him to laugh.

* His craziness in the bathtub. And we thought his brother was a water baby!

* He isn't bothered by strangers.

*He sleeps. Lots and lots of sleep!

* But he can miss a nap and not get cranky.

* He goes with the flow. We can take him anywhere and he is totally and completely happy.

* The way he sings and keeps a beat with his foot.

* The way he yells, "more, more, more, more, more" when he wants more food.

* His terrific hand-eye coordination.

* Pretty much every single thing. (Except his vomiting. I hate the vomit.)

Happy Birthday little boy! I love you sooooooooooooooo much!

Five - Part 2

Today is a significant day for our family. Five years ago at approximately 4:30pm mountain standard time, we were handed a little baby in a white blanket. We were in Idaho Falls with freezing temperatures, wide-eyed, and shocked that a wonderful birth mom would actually trust us to raise this child. More on that in a minute.

On September 12, 2003, we were called in to meet with our adoption caseworker. It had already been an eventful week because I found out a day earlier that I had managed to pass the Oregon State Bar and would be sworn in as an attorney. As we sat nervously around the conference table, our casework informed us that we had been chosen by a birth mother, who was having a baby boy due in December. Over the course of the next few months, we wrote letters, we sent pictures, and we had a face to face visit with our birth mother. As time went on we grew more and more excited. We were buying car seats and strollers and all of the stuff that we were told we needed to have a baby.

We got a call from our caseworker on November 19 that our birth mother may go into labor soon and that we should start making arrangements to meet in Idaho Falls. Buddy was born on November 21 around 8:30am via cesarean section. He was three weeks early and weighed all of 5 pounds 13 ounces. We made arrangements, flew into Salt Lake City and drove to Idaho Falls. We had arranged to stay with a family that my cousin knew because we couldn't afford a hotel. Then on November 25, 2003, we were placed with our oldest son. Because of the laws regarding transporting adopted children across state lines, we were required to notify and have the State of Oregon sign off on allowing us to bring him back to Oregon. This was right before Thanksgiving and we had pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that we would be spending Thanksgiving in Idaho Falls. But by some miracle, all of the paperwork made it through and we were actually able to drive back to Utah to spend Thanksgiving with my family.

Obviously, there are a lot more details that I could go into as well as describing the thoughts and feelings we had. I'm not going to do that now. I can say that so much has changed in the last five years for us. Buddy, as crazy and energetic as he is, has been an absolute joy to be around and try to raise. His love and zest for life is contagious. His sense of humor always brings a smile to everyone around him. His intellect and command of the English language make him a force to be dealt with. His love of music, outdoors, and animals is unparalleled. We can't wait to see where life takes him. Happy Placement Day, Buddy.

Five

Buddy's much anticipated fifth birthday was Friday. I wanted to share a few photos and stories from his party and pay a tribute to my dear firstborn child.

First of all, Buddy believes that every party needs a theme and he'll often ask you "what kind of birthday are you having" if he finds out it's your big day soon. He settled on a shark theme a few weeks ago and we both got started brainstorming. Thank goodness for go.og.le, since I have absolutely no creative juices.

Buddy recommended a shark bite on the invitation, which apparently was a huge hit with the invitees. A few kids were convinced that a shark really did bite the invitation. I have to admit, it was really cool. Buddy really didn't want much for the party except streamers and balloons (because his baby brother loves balloons) and of course he wanted all of his "best friends" as he calls them.

And of course he wanted a shark cake. This was waaaay beyond my abilities as an artist and mother, but since I strongly believe in spoiling a child with time and attention and believe a child's birthday is a really big deal... I couldn't deny him. You might remember my dragon cake last year. At least with the dragon cake, I found a pattern online. This year, I could only find a few pictures to guide and inspire me. No instructions. And without instructions, I'm totally incapable. Me and Buddy carefully studied the pictures and came up with a plan. And if I got overwhelmed, G promised to help. I did the baking/designing/sculpting/finishing touches and G did the frosting. Thank goodness for G because before it was frosted, it strongly resembled a turtle which was not a good thing. Even after it was done it looked much more like a whale shark (without the spots, though, as Buddy noted) than a great white shark. But considering my lack of artistic ability, it was satisfactory. And Buddy was beyond grateful and thanked me multiple times. (In fact during FHE tonight, most of his " Thanksgiving gratitude list" revolved around his party, cake, and streamers.)

The party was very enjoyable and I'm not being facetious. Seven little boys add up to a whole lot of fun, energy, yelling, running, and even a pretty bad odor in the playroom when they were all in there. But I literally could not stop laughing. Here are a few highlights:

* James in full meltdown because he wanted to win a game SO bad. Even though he WAS winning by so much no one would possibly beat him. But he was so afraid of losing he just sat and cried rather than finish the game. He did win, by the way. I love winning too, so I could totally relate.
* When I served the shark cake (made with red velvet cake, by the way), I told the kids to be brave because it might be a little bloody when I cut into it. And then Tyler burst into tears. He refused to eat the cake and later said, "I only like cake if it's humpback whale cake. Not if it's shark cake."
* I made "sea water" out of apple juice and food coloring. Liam refused to drink it -- or even taste it -- and said he doesn't drink sea water, only regular water.
* Connor ate three massive pieces of cake, which was more food than I've ever seen him eat in the years I've known him.
* Noah (not my son- a different one) said, "This is my best birthday I've ever had." Poor kid got confused for a minute and thought it was his birthday. But at least he was having fun!

Buddy's Tribute

Buddy. The great joy of my life. Probably one of the best friends I'll ever have in my whole life. For sure we will aggravate each other forever, but I need him and I hope he always likes me as much as he does now.

Buddy is outgoing when I'm not, energetic when I'm exhausted, patient when I'm losing it, full of faith when I want to give up, and he's everything I ever hoped for in a son. He has developed more talents in his first five years than many people do in an entire lifetime. He is creative, funny, intellectual, kind-hearted, full of optimism, and deeply spiritual. I consider it a privilege that I get to be his mother. When I stop to think about all that went into me being chosen, I am not only humbled, but so very happy.

It's hard to remember sometimes whether he's five or fifteen. But, I wouldn't have him any other way. His energy and persuasiveness will serve him very well in his lifetime. When I think of the people I most admire, they stop at nothing, they enjoy life, they love deeply. That's my Buddy for sure. It'll be my great challenge to direct his abilities toward good things, rather than constantly trying to stop him and discourage him from being who he is. I hope he stays just like he is now. Something tells me he will.