Friday, May 18, 2012

Mother's Day 2012

I think I realized last year when I tried to do a Mother's Day post that nobody every takes pictures of me with the kids.  I'm looking at you, G.  If one of us died, I'd be awfully sad about not having pictures with them, so let's make that a priority this year.  Also, I don't have any pictures of the new bangs and haircolor I got 2.5 months ago and now it's grown out and faded.  That's unfortunate we never documented that I finally changed my hairstyle!

My Mother's Day was amazing this year, as I expected.  At the risk of sounding smug, I must mention that I realize that it wasn't a happy day for everyone.  I spent some time thinking about my friends who were sad that day.  One woman in particular.  I met her a couple years ago at an adoption training I had organized.  Shortly after, she and her husband adopted a baby boy and moved to Washington.  Two months ago her husband and son drowned.  While I didn't "know" them, my heart still aches for her loss.  I just can't imagine.  And I can't stop thinking about her son's birthmother and her grief too.  It's just so sad.  I'm involved with a very tight-knit adoption support group and we sent the birthmother flowers for Birthmother's Day Saturday.  None of us know her, but it's the only thing we could think of to do to show we hadn't forgotten her sorrow either.

Onto happier topics.

G always tells the boys I want "peace and quiet" whenever I have a birthday or Mother's Day.  So that's what I got!  After church G made lunch for all of us.  The night before he had shopped for supplies, and he surprised me with a raspberry Italian soda for lunch.  Yum!  The boys made me adorable cards and at school Noah had made me a thumb print out of clay to hang from the rearview mirror in my car.  Whenever I miss him while he's at school I can slip my own thumb inside his imprint.  Pre-kids, I always dreamed about Mother's Days -- that the gifts and cards would be terrific. But that thumbprint thing was just about the most adorable thing ever.  After opening gifts I laid in bed, surfed the Internet, read, and took a nap.  When I got up, G had made crepes with berries, nutella, and whipped cream for dinner.  And more Italian sodas and brownies for dessert.  It was so nice to be loved and pampered all day.  (Especially because the next day the kids treated me like crap.)

As mentioned, we also celebrated Birth Mother's day on Saturday.  It was fun to talk about our amazing birthmoms all day and to send texts back and forth with both of them.  G had the brilliant idea to get Sambo's birthmom a stuffed doggie to match Sambo's beloved stuffed doggie.  We also sent her one of Sambo's spare stuffed monkeys.  (He sleeps with one every night and for years sucked on it's tail.  Since the tail always smelled, we had to have a few spares to rotate through the wash.  He no longer sucks on the tails which is really good news because those stinky monkeys were toxic.) 

We made a video of Buddy's life recently for his birthmom.  I'm sure no one besides my dad would want to watch it (maybe not even him, since it's 15 minutes long), but here's the link if you are interested.  Warning:  It's ADORABLE.

Interestingly enough, Buddy's birthmom also sent him a package.  Inside was a new book about rocks, minerals, and gems along with four new rocks to add to his collection.  He was overjoyed.  It was actually really cute because on the way home from school he had showed me the books he got from the library that day:  two rock books and one chapter book "because the librarian made me get a chapter book too."  He was miffed that he couldn't get three rock books.  Well low and behold, we checked the mail and there was her package.  I try to explain the relationship between my boys and their birthmothers to people.  It's hard to explain because it's unlike any other relationship I've ever seen.  But the package in the mail on the very day Buddy was hoping to read some new rock books really sums it up.  They are very attuned with each other and "coincidences" happen like that all the time. 

It's really cool because Buddy is now old enough to send his own emails and texts to his birthmom.  They are both very good communicators and are very sensitive, so it's nice for them to tell each other how they feel rather than me being the one to mediate their relationship.  He loves sending her notes and agonizes over what to say.  He asked me "Is it OK to tell her I love her?"  Or "Is it bragging to tell her I already know all the names of the rocks she sent me?" Of course her texts back to him are nothing but love, support, and pride for all he does. 

Does it seem like the only thing I talk about is adoption?  Well, it is.  I was asked to write a guest post for a blog for birthmoms.  The topic was the friendships I have with my boys' birthmoms.  Check it out here

You know that primary song about the child gathering clover for his mom?  All week I've had that song on the brain.  The view behind our house is gorgeous right now.  The field right behind our house is bright green with super tall grass.  And the field adjacent to that one is in bloom with red clover.  I can't stop staring outside.  So, so beautiful.  Most of my friends and even G are Oregon transplants so they don't have the same love for Oregon as me.  But it's Springs like these that make me so happy to live in this beautiful place.