Daylight Savings

(Disclaimer:  I mean no disrespect for the sad and legitimate reasons for flying a flag at half-staff.)

Today when I was driving away from the school after picking Buddy up, I asked him why the flag at the school was at half-staff yesterday.

"I'm not sure.  It was probably because yesterday was the day when people wake up and they think it's too early and are really tired."

This kid is a genius, I tell you.

Quirky

G and I have finally admitted what a lot of people have been telling us.  That our littlest son is "quirky."

Sambo was the world's calmest baby.  Although he was sick a lot and had some eating problems, he was never fussy.  As a toddler he never got into anything.  He made/makes messes and writes on walls and surfaces, but that's been the extent of him causing any trouble.  He's always been a great sleeper, he grew out of his eating problems, and since day one has always been great to go with the flow.  I can run errands with him and can get housework done with him around -- no problem.  Although he had a pretty significant speech delay, he has never gotten frustrated by it and rarely throws tantrums.  He's happy and pleasant and always been an absolute joy to be around. 

Apparently he's one of those "late bloomer" types because he is no longer that calm baby.  In the last year he's been slowly developing his personality and getting an opinion on things.  He has always been very independent, but it's never been a real problem because while he always wants to do things HIMSELF or HIS WAY, he is really compliant and usually HIS WAY is my way too.

A few months before he turned four he started to talk a lot better and I realized he did have a mind of his own after all.  He started saying some seriously funny things.  He was talking like a 2-year old, but had the intellect of a 4-year old (going on 8-year old since he has been very well tutored by his older brother who is very clever).  That combination made for a lot of laughs.

Around that time, people starting remarking about what a "handful" he was.  I never saw it, though.  He was always so easy for me, especially when I was giving him my full attention, which was always, in all reality.  But if I'd leave him with a babysitter, they'd say he was a problem.  He acted up for his primary teachers and in preschool.  I was so confused because I never really saw the wild side.

But let's talk about things currently.  Since he turned 4 a few months ago, everywhere I go people call him "quirky" or "wild" or "busy" or "a handful."  G and I would actually say, "Do you think he's that kid that drives everyone crazy but we think he's perfect because we have our heads buried in the sand?"  Then as quickly as we'd say that we'd followup with a quick, "Nah, if he's driving anyone crazy, it's their problem.  He's a delight!"

Oh Buddy.  G and I are getting it now.  He is really busy.  But more than that (because he isn't even half as wild as his brother was/is)... he is really quirky.

Here are some things that he does that add up to the crazy-artist personality he's developing:

• He's super high on life.  He walks with a spring in his step at all times.
• He has mastered whistling.  (Which drives me crazy, to be honest.)  Have you ever seen a 4-year old whistle while they play?  Me either.
• He loves pink, purple and anything sparkly.  He wishes he was a princess and loves to dress up in his "princess dress" which is a tutu we bought on clearance at Halloween time.  He does NOT act like a princess in it, so it is torn to shreds.  I finally realized he likes pink and purple best because he loves beauty and nobody ever says blue or green (for example) are pretty.
• If he isn't focused on anything else, you will find him standing on his head or doing his "special tricks" which is a fancy forward roll where he lands on his feet rather than his back.  He does these moves constantly and usually at really inappropriate times (preschool, church).  This all started after he watched an old-school Ninja Turtle movie.
• While playing with bubbles in primary today, he got all the kids to crawl around acting like animals.  He was a cheetah (or cheater, as he called himself) and he started eating the bubbles.  He was sad when we finished because he was still "hungry."
• He loves to cook and I expect within the year he'll know how to make something legitimate.  He knows how to run the kitchenaid and knows the proper consistency for bread dough. 
• I've written before about his hair.  It's gotten worse.
• He told my cousin she was weird tonight.  Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
• He is a bona fide hypochondriac.  He begs to go to the doctor, he loves getting shots, and he hides bandaids under his bed so he can put one on whenever the mood strikes.
• He's hands down the most outgoing and bossy kid in our primary class.  Which is saying something considering we have eleven 4-year old boys in our class.  (Not a single girl!)  Such a far cry from the boy that never spoke 18 months ago.
• He cries during certain movies or primary stories involving people or animals who get lost, chased, or have no friends.  He can watch Pirates of the Caribbean or Tron Legacy but he can't handle Finding Nemo,  Spirit (the horse movie), or Angelina Ballerina. And thank goodness we are his primary teachers because he's cried the past two weeks during stories from the primary manual.
• I've had to hide all diapers or pullups we have left stuffed in closets or drawers because I've randomly found him wearing pullups or a diaper on under his underwear.  He doesn't pee in them, but he thinks it's fun.  And I've also found him wearing several pairs of underwear at a time. 
• And this isn't quirky per se, but the relationship he has with his brother.  He ADORES and IDOLIZES Buddy.  And Buddy just cannot say no to him.  I'm sure being spoiled by Buddy probably contributes to him being a "handful" because anytime we try to discipline him or he loses a privilege, Buddy undermines us.

Interestingly enough, it's his big personality and crazy interests that endear him more to us.  We totally adore him.  I can't imagine a child has ever been so loved... 

Swap (By G)

I debated what to title this.  My other options "Persistence" or "I Finally Wore Her Down."  Three and a half years ago I bought at Acura TL-S.  I loved this car.  It was a lot of fun to drive and was really fast (3 traffic tickets fast).  However, ever since I sold my Jeep, I have been longing for another SUV.  We have our Subaru Outback, which has been a great car, but it's a pain to switch car seats whenever I needed all-wheel drive and M didn't really like driving my car.  After a long time of me constantly bringing it up, M finally gave in and I replaced the TL-S with an Acura MDX.  I love it.  M has used it a few times and while it's not really convenient to get kids in an out of the third row, it can seat 7 people.  I will miss the TL-S, but I'm really happy with the MDX.  At least for now . . . . . 

FHE

Remember how earlier this week I mentioned it was a doozy of a day/week/month?  Unfortunately, things haven't gotten better.  In fact, I dare say they might have gotten worse.  Yikes!

Some of the frustration of the week (life) involves my oldest son.  He is such a charmer, thank goodness.  Because if he wasn't... well, never mind.  (You'd be shocked by some of the stunts he pulls.)  But I'm trying to not dwell on the negative and instead focus on the good in life.  And if he ever got ahold of this blog, he'd be mortified.  So I'll refrain from spilling the juicy details of my week with him.

So tonight we decided to give Buddy the assignment of teaching Family Home Evening on prayer because he thrives on having a job to do -- and his little brother has been having a consistent problem showing reverence and respect during prayers.  (Yes, he has his issues too.)

So Buddy studied up on the subject, looked for some pictures, thumbed through his scriptures and came up with a remarkable lesson.  G and I kept looking at each other throughout the whole thing.  Who is this kid?  We were so impressed with all his great insights.  He spoke sweetly and patiently to his brother, giving him all sorts of instruction on how to pray and how prayer has blessed his life.

This is his sweet spot.  He was born to be a teacher and as frustrating and ridiculous as he can be, it all melts way when we can put him in a position to demonstrate some responsibility, especially in something that really matters to him.  (Note to self.)

And now a little word on his brother who takes drinks during his dinner prayer, and consistently prays for things like "better toys" and "more legos" and not much else.  (Which is why we needed this FHE lesson).  So at one point in the lesson, Buddy mentioned that after we offer thanks for all of our blessings, we ask for things we need.

"Like a dog?" Sambo said.

"Not quite," I said.  "We pray for help, things we actually need, or for other people."

"I NEED a real dog," he said.

And then he burst into tears saying he needs a pet puppy really really bad.

We went around and around about this. All three of us (mostly Buddy -- he was the teacher, after all) tried to explain why that's not an appropriate thing to pray for.  Nothing changed his mind, though.  Over the course of the FHE he probably mentioned he wants a dog thirty times.  At least.

So then we gave him a chance to practice what he had learned and like a good pupil, he prayed for all the wonderful things Buddy had suggested we include in our prayers.  Then he threw in a side note about better toys, more legos, and a real pet dog.

I give up.  Anyone else want a crack at raising my kids????!!!!!

(Because in case you don't know me very well, these children will never own a dog.)

Love

If it wasn't for G sending me a text telling me he loves me once every hour all day today, I probably would have had a really bad day.  It's amazing what a difference love and support makes.  Especially when it's pure and real.  It's been a doozy of a day/week/month.  But, that's OK.  Love you, G!

Parenting Outside the Box

Well, we made it to February before Buddy frustrated his teacher enough for her to call me.  I know he's been better than the previous two years.  Much better.  But I think making it this long is mostly a function of how relaxed and supportive his teacher is this year.  She has given him a very long leash.  Unfortunately, he is now friends with everyone in the class and he won't stop talking to them.  The teacher has rearranged the seating chart repeatedly and no matter who he sits by, he talks to them.  Luckily, his teacher didn't sound exhausted by him (like last year) and she said talking and not controlling his impulses is the worst of his infractions.

Her solution really endeared me to her even more than I already am.  She is going to talk to him about being the "class leader" and if he can work quietly without talking to anyone, she will let him take something to the office, organize something in the classroom, or let him "take a walk to run some sort of random errand around the school."  The awesome thing about that is I suggested this very solution in the letter I wrote her at the beginning of the year.  Either she's super smart, she remembered my suggestion from reading it 5 months ago, or she re-read my letter before she called me today.  Whichever one, I'm impressed. Buddy needs a responsibility yet it's hard to give him one because he isn't the type of kid you'd naturally pick out of the classroom as the "most responsible."  But giving him a job works.  I can't wait to hear how it goes.

In other news, Buddy had to write three essays this afternoon after school.  One was concerning the "family sleeping rules" because he got out of bed way too early this morning.  One concerning why spitting is disgusting because he and his brother had a "spitting war" for fun in the car while I was at the atm today (they were out of my sight for 90 seconds).  The car smelled like saliva when I got back in and their guilty faces totally gave it away.  The third essay was concerning his behavior at school and ideas he has for being a good leader rather than frustrating his teacher.

The spitting essay was the funniest, and last time I posted one of his essays I got some feedback to make this a regular feature on the blog.

(BTW-this essay idea I had = brilliant.  He has a large notebook almost full of essays he's written.  And each one is hilarious.  His ideas are always really clever and his writing mechanics are getting really good.)

"I have one essay to write and it will not be fun!  So let's get started okay?  I should not spit... Because it is gross and it is gross because it can make people sick and because it has germs and it comes from your mouth.  And because you can die from it if you don't cure your sickness.  And I am sorry that I spitted.  And that I did not have integrity. And I mean it like a ton of times.  And I am sorry for Sambo too... a lot.  And I hope Sambo is sorry for me too and I am a lot more than he is, if he is sorry.  Can you ask him?  Please?  That's okay if you don't.  I don't really need to know."

What's Going Right

 Sambo helping me make dinner for some friends.  He loves to cook and is getting to be legitimately helpful. 

 Buddy at the Children's Museum in Reno.  He loves science and will soak up anything anyone is willing to teach him. 

This afternoon I've been working on updating our adoption profile online.  As I've been writing and choosing new photos and basically bragging up our family so a potential birthmother will become interested us, I started feeling really good about myself and all the "wonderful" things going for us as parents.

Then I remembered a few things I've read online lately and wondered why I don't focus more on what's going right in life (especially my parenting).  First of all, I read a fable the other day with the moral that "whatever you feed lives."  So if you feed jealousy toward others, you'll be jealous.  If you feed anger, you'll be angry.  If you feed gratitude, you'll feel grateful (and happy).  I also read a post online about what people feel they are doing right as a parent.  The intention was to make a list of things you are doing well, and continue those in 2012 rather than feel bogged down by all the things you wish you were doing.  Taking the previous moral into consideration, focusing on your successes feeds more success. 

Here's what I'm doing right as a parent:

Teaching my children to do daily service.
Teaching my children to work hard.
Teaching my children to love to read, the value of learning, and formal education.

What are you doing right as a parent?