All Creatures Great and Small

I hate critters. Detest them. I'm scared to death of any and all rodents, reptiles, wild animals, etc. I'd rather have a spider crawl all over me then to run into the creatures I just listed. But I hate them too. I have a mouse radar that I got from Ho.me Depot that supposedly keeps mice out of the house. I hope it's working! I must be some kind of monster because I don't like pets either. I am totally incapable of loving an animal. (Don't worry, I'm not cruel to animals -- I just don't have tender feelings for them.) Yeah, the zoo is cool, but that's about it.

I must have sent out some really bad karma because in the last week:

• I saw a deer walk past our back gate the other night while I was feeding Pee-Wee. It was really cool, so we rushed and got Buddy out of bed so he could see it. The deer quickly wandered into the wheat field right behind our house, so we could only see the tops of his ears as he walked further and further into the field. That was pretty cool. It gets much, much worse, though.
• We have tree frogs all over the yard and periodically they come into our house. (I've been known to call G home from work on a couple occasions to remove one from the house.) So while we were looking at the deer, a frog hopped right into our family room. Thankfully I saw it happen, so G was able to capture it quickly.
• Buddy has seen field mice all over the yard in the past few days -- one of which was right by the back door. And then I saw one in the shed. Thank heavens for my mouse detector. I swear if one comes in our house, this house is going on the market immediately.
• Then on Saturday we came home from a day at our town's annual festival. Immediately upon walking into the house, Buddy noticed a bird in our fireplace. Now, I don't know how on earth he got in there, but the fireplace is gas, so he was flapping all around stirring up all sorts of dust and making the pilot light go out of control. I about lost it. G was out of town and as we all have learned, I'm petrified of animals. So about 30 unanswered calls to his cell phone later, I was really in a panic. So I called our friend Jesse, who came over and somehow removed the glass from the fireplace. I had to help him hold a sheet to capture the bird. Thank heavens that worked and he was able to release it outside. It took me hours to come down off of that adrenaline rush. Still disturbs me out thinking about it.
• So then yesterday we were at the pool at our gym. You know, the high-end one I wrote about a few days ago? And all of a sudden I see a RAT poking around some lawn chairs. I had seen a guy walking around with a cage a few minutes before -- so I knew this wasn't the first time that rat had been seen around there. Apparently it wasn't a wild rat, but a lost or abandoned "pet." At least that's what the lifeguards were saying. But honestly, a rat is a rat. And it freaked me the hell out.
• So then today Buddy informs me there's a mole hill in the backyard. I wasn't surprised with all the other wild animals that have been hanging out back there.
• Just a few minutes ago I went outside to pick some lettuce for dinner. And while I was stepping over the mole hill, being careful not to step on any moles if they happened to pop up right then, I saw a SNAKE slithering away. I am TERRIFIED of snakes. I've seen them several other times in the yard and it really is upsetting.

Our house backs right up to a field, the Tualatin River is at the end of our street, and we live a half mile from a national wildlife refuge, so I guess a few animals here and there are to be expected. But honestly, I can't handle this. This has gotten totally out of control. I think I'm ready to pack up and move to a condo in the city. Deep breaths...

He's a Mover

At Pee-Wee's six-month checkup, I was very excited when the pediatrician predicted that his head and back weren't strong enough to support crawling any time soon. This was fabulous news to for me. His head is huge and well, he hated tummy time, so we figured it would take a while to build up the strength to hold that big noggin up. Sounds good to me. I still haven't recovered from the havoc Buddy wreaked on his house when he started crawling.

...Well, a few days later he popped that head off the floor and started rocking on his hands and knees. Just to spite me! And then he start scooting around the floor like an inch-worm.

...And then a few days ago he started crawling -- army-style. I could hardly believe my eyes.

When it's your first child it's really exciting when they start to crawl. But when it's your second (and when your first STILL gets into everything at age 4), it's well -- a hassle. (Still, he's just so cute!) And in our case we went from stationary baby to very mobile baby with hardly any warning and within a couple of weeks.

I've been talking to Buddy about keeping all of his possessions up off the floor now. It's not sinking in. First of all, Buddy has no regard for safety. He doesn't care about getting hurt.

This morning Pee-Wee kept trying to get at Buddy's scissors and sticker project (even though I told Buddy repeatedly that maybe he ought to move his craft to the table) until finally Pee-Wee had backed him into a corner in the dining room.

Then this afternoon Buddy just gave up trying to move away from him. He has extreme patience for Pee-Wee and doesn't seem to mind Pee-Wee ruining his stuff (even if I do). Here are a series of pictures documenting Pee-Wee trying to get to Buddy's lea.ppad.

Buddy minding his own business.

Pee-Wee has arrived on the scene

Buddy moves the lea.ppad away

Pee-Wee crawls closer so Buddy hands him the pen

Buddy then shows Pee-Wee how to use the pen

I put down the camera in time to grab the pages out of his chubby hands before they got ripped. ...So pretty much Buddy is of no use in helping me keep Pee-Wee out of trouble. Surprising?

Budding Hairdresser or Budding Photographer?

While I was sitting on the floor feeding Pee-Wee tonight, Buddy found a scrunchee and started doing my hair. He was extremely pleased with his work, so I let him take a picture. He said I look "cute." What do you think?

Gym Etiquette

One of the benefits of G's work is a half-price membership to a really nice gym. It's in close proximity to the house and G's office, it's got great amenities including a restaurant, amazing rock-climbing wall, indoor and outdoor pools, good (and free) childcare, nice equipment, fun classes, and clean locker rooms. If you pay the non-corporate rate, it's extremely expensive, so you'd think the clientele would know proper gym etiquette or at the very least know some common sense. Here are some things G and I wish people would stop doing there:

• Leaving cups and other trash in the treadmill cup holders. The staff does a really good job of keeping everything clean, but how hard is it for people to clean up after themselves?


• Some people (a lot of people) are huge space hogs in our weights class. It drives us crazy when there's close to a full class and no one will shift their stuff to make room for more people. And what's even more annoying is when it's not full and people still crowd. If you've got space in front of you or in back of you -- move!


• We've got a similar problem with people who hog weights in the class. They'll get six 5-kg weights instead of consolidating and getting a few 10-kg weights. Then there's not enough for everyone else. And even when the teacher asks them to share they pretend they can't hear her. Or leave to get a drink right then.


• There are a few people in the weights class that think they are "best friends" with the instructor and shout out commentary during the class. No one cares! I always feel so bad for the poor teacher having to deal with the "comedians" when they show up.


• There is a guy that brings out a TON of weight. It's like a ridiculous amount. He thinks he's a body-builder apparently but he only can manage about half the reps and his form is atrocious. This is an endurance-type class, so if you want to go heavy and show off, this is not the class for you.


• And then there's a guy that comes all the time but does his own routine. The class is choreographed, but he doesn't follow it. Not only is it distracting, it's just plain old annoying.


• Oh, and how about people who fart in class.


• Why do people take their sick kids to the childcare? My baby has been sick more times than I can count and it's got to be coming from there. Like a few weeks ago when Pee-Wee had hand, foot and mouth. I didn't know anyone with that virus, so he must have gotten it there. The employees are great and they are constantly sanitizing, but sheesh. If you've got a sick child, don't go to the gym.


• I've noticed quite a few people driving like maniacs in the childcare parking lot. They must be in a huge hurry to drop off their kids because I've never noticed crazy drivers in the other parking lot.


• People who won't share the small amounts of shade on the pool deck. If I saw someone with an infant, I'd make room to let them sit by me in the shade. Nope. Never seen that happen. They spread out all their gear in the shade, then spend the entire time in the pool. Never spending a moment in their spaded spot.


• And then the locker room. G saw a guy blowing-drying his butt-hair the other day. And G said it smelled worse than imaginable. Why on earth would anyone do that at all, not to mention in public?


• The locker rooms are spacious and G specifically tries to find a locker by no one else, but inevitably he comes back after working out and some dude is putting stuff in a locker right above his. When there's a hundred empty spots, why did he choose that locker?


• And why do so many people parade around the locker room completely naked? There are a LOT of really hot bodies in there, but interestingly enough, it's always really fat people who stand around naked. They'll stand and have conversations with other people while wearing NOTHING. And they'll stand at the mirror and apply their makeup wearing NOTHING. What's the point? I'm starting to think I'm the weird one that I have a little modesty while in public.

Formula Waster

This baby is a notorious formula-waster. We can't figure out how he gets by on so little food. Mealtime for him is either play-time, let's-get-extremely-distracted-time, or sleep-time.

Apparently we haven't made it clear enough to him that daddy hates it when people waste food and mommy hates it when people waste money.

Please child, can you please eat?! Or at least let us know when we're preparing the bottle if you'd like two or six ounces.