Projects-Roasting a Turkey

My practice turkey

I'll admit, I'm a decent cook. But I'm a "safe" cook, if that makes any sense. I don't cook risky things, (grill meat, bake fancy cakes, decorate cakes, you get the idea). So a few years ago I attempted my first turkey when we hosted Thanksgiving -- and it was a true disaster. I was intimidated in the first place. Then the turkey didn't thaw completely and so when it came time to cook it, it didn't cook completely. Luckily the breast meat was done and my dad had brought a second turkey so Thanksgiving dinner wasn't entirely ruined. But I was disturbed by the half-raw turkey sitting in my roasting pan. And even more disturbed that I failed big time.

So this year we hosted again and had a guest list of 23 people, including a few people that would be scrutinizing my every cooking move. A started to panic several weeks ago and begged my sister, who is an amazing cook and tries "risky" meals all the time, to send me detailed instructions for roasting a turkey. I have had her turkey before and it was excellent and I know she's been working on perfecting her own recipe for a few years! A few days ago her turkey recipe and play-by-play instructions showed up in my email box. I immediately went to Costco and purchased two fresh turkeys: one for the big day and one so I could practice. Then I went to the store to buy all the supplies. After the boys went to bed I set out to practice. I'm so glad I did because six hours later (at 2:00 in the morning) I pulled a gorgeous turkey out of the oven. G and I dug into it right then and feasted on our success!

A week later, this time with our guests arriving in a few hours, we repeated the brining process, stuffed the bird with all sorts of fruits and vegetables and waited to see if she would come out of the oven as moist as the first did. My sister's instructions said that if done correctly the guests would experience Nirvana. I'm not sure if I'd go that far, but it was fantastic, if I do say so myself. Lets put it this way: It was a very happy Thanksgiving!

* In case I made this seem like the turkey was all my doing, I had a ton of help from G and of course the main credit goes to Myndi for her recipe. THANKS!

Projects-Painting

The lighting in the room is dim, and our camera isn't very good so the color is actually quite a bit different than it appears in the photos. The second photo is closer to the actual color.

A couple weeks ago I managed to finish painting our room, thanks to G's parents watching the boys one day when they were here visiting -- and some late nights after they left. It turned out excellent! It took me months to commit to the color, but G and several trusted friends all gave me some encouragement and I'm really happy with the results. I was really worried the color would be too "baby boy," but quite the contrary (although it does sort of look like a baby's nursery in the photos!)

Making a List

(Click picture to enlarge)

Buddy got a list all ready for Santa this year. My heart was warmed when I read the very first line: A dog for his brother. You must know Buddy is deathly afraid of dogs and can hardly function when there is a dog around. But he knows that his little brother absolutely loves them.

If that isn't the spirit of Christmas, I don't know what is.

P.S. Buddy also asked for: a toy Indian, helicopter, socks, Halloween decorations, treasure chest, pirate ship, legos, bakugans, ninja costume, and Indian costume. At the end of the list he also tells the elf who surely will read it that he loves him so much. (always sucking up!)

Relating

An interesting thing has happened to my relationship with Buddy.

Buddy turns SIX later this week. And for the first time in my life as a parent, I can remember many of the details of my life when I was his age. My first concrete memories are of going to school for the first time and all the milestones that go along with it. It's so strange to be in a place where I can easily relate to his life. When he was a toddler and terrorizing this house (we called him Hurricane Buddy for years) I could not for the life of me relate to that type of behavior.

But a great switch has taken place. He's much more calm now. He's a deep thinker and we have mature conversations. He sits reverently in primary without being reminded. He has a legitimate developing testimony grown from his own work. For the first 5.75 years of his life it was pure torture for him to be held or cuddled. All of a sudden he'd rather snuggle with us than do most anything else. For years he'd rather clean his room from top to bottom than take a nap. Napping was equal to death. As I type, he's napping with daddy -- his request.

I realize this is a precious time in our lives. He's old enough that I can really relate to him and rely on him for lots of help, but he's young enough that he's still a little boy and still needs me for almost everything.

On a lighter note, I'm still enjoying Buddy's stories from school. He enthusiastically shares as many details as possible about his day as soon as he bounds off the bus. Some of the stories dig up memories I hadn't though about in 25 years. Here's a sampling. See if any of these sound familiar to you too.

• A couple days ago I had to wait an extra ten minutes for the bus to show up after school. I wasn't worried (Last time it was late it was held up because Buddy had to go poop after school and the bus driver graciously waited for him. Should I have shared that on my blog? Thank goodness he doesn't read this! Now I make sure he poops BEFORE school because he was horribly embarrassed.) Anyway the other day when the bus finally showed up I noticed that everyone was stuffed into the back 1/3 of the bus. I knew right away. Somebody had barfed on the way home. A right of passage for sure: riding home from school with that smell of puke permeating the entire bus. Remember how the puke would spread further along the rubber flooring with every start and stop of the bus?

• One day when I was volunteering in the classroom the class was working on a worksheet. Buddy had a question, so he raised his hand. After a few minutes the teacher still hadn't called on him because she was helping another child. I noticed Buddy was on the verge of getting impatient and I shot him a "don't you dare be rude" look from where I was sitting across the room. When he got home after school he told me he didn't appreciate my "mean" face I gave him. He claimed he was being patient but his arm was hurting from raising it so long, so he had to put his other arm up to support it. It had been years since I've experienced the "I have something so important to say I'm willing to raise my hand for 10 minutes straight, even though I'm losing feeling in my arm" phenomenon. Did you ever do that?

• He is constantly telling me so-and-so didn't listen today, etc. One day Tori was fooling around during "learning corner" (they sit on a colorful carpet in the corner of the room while the teacher gives a lesson about math, the weather, rhyming, etc). After being corrected several times, "Tori had to go sit at her desk and put her head down." I hadn't heard that phrase since I was in 1st grade, so to clarify, I said, "Does putting your head down mean you fold your arms on your desk and lay your head down on your arms?" After all these years, teachers are still using that as a discipline strategy. And apparently it worked because Buddy considered that episode the most embarrassing moment of the whole school day. And after that conversation I started to remember that game "heads up seven up" and wondered how old he'll be when he first plays that at school.

• A few weeks ago I chaperoned Buddy's first school fieldtrip and it didn't really go all that well. Before the fieldtrip my mom shared a few choice stories about how rudely I treated her when she would faithfully attend my school functions (every single one). I felt really bad that I acted that way but couldn't imagine Buddy doing that. He adores me and Sambo, so boy was I shocked when he suggested before the hayride me and Sambo ride on the other tractor because he wanted to sit by his "friends." And that was only the tip of the iceberg when it came to the disrespect and lack of eye contact from him. Luckily I was warned, and so I got over it pretty quickly (especially after we had a "chat" when he came home from school).

• I have a love-hate relationship with his homework. I think it's quite enjoyable to listen to him read and I love seeing him learn and improve his math and handwriting skills. However, he hates, and I repeat HATES having me help him. He doesn't listen to me and he argues whenever I give him help or feedback. (Right now my dad is saying "boy does this sound familiar"). Every time he starts running his mouth about how much he knows, I have a major flashback to days when my dad would help me with my homework and I would refuse to listen. If he continues to follow my behavior pattern, G will become the full-time homework help. Because the two of us were clearly not meant to co-exist while doing homework.

• I had a real moral dilemma when it came time to order school pictures. Do you remember those? They are ridiculously expensive and if I remember correctly, they never turn out well. So we ended up only ordering the class picture ($9). So when they sent home the "proof" to try to encourage the deadbeat parents that didn't order anything to buy up, I felt better about my decision. In my humble opinion, Buddy is one of the most attractive and photogenic children I've ever seen and yet his school picture was beyond horrific. If I didn't know better I would have thought he was constipated during the photoshoot (but of course that's not the case because I make him go before school, remember). Just another right of passage I guess: bad school pictures. But lucky for him, I've out-smarted the school picture folks and will take him to JC Penney instead.

• And this has nothing to do with school, but I loved this moment in our household. The other night Sambo gagged near the end of dinner and ended up throwing up all his food. It wasn't too big of a deal because it got all over his bib and tray so it was easy to clean up. Not to mention he pukes pretty often (Oh no! he's probably going to be the barfing kid on the bus!!!!) So after we got him cleaned up Buddy was still eating and Sambo was climbing all over the table and all over his chair begging for his food. Buddy snapped "get away from me!" to him. I quickly told him we don't talk to each other like that and asked him to say it again respectfully. In the sweetest voice you've ever heard he tried again, "Sambo? Can you please go somewhere else? You smell like throw-up and I'd like to finish eating."

Hi! I'm Almost Two!

This darling little boy will be two in a few weeks and holy cow does he make that apparent lately. Just a mere three weeks ago he was the best behaved child on the planet. Meek, sweet, cuddly, and just perfect. I recently told G that I loved running errands while Buddy was at school because I had my little sweetheart with me but he was so easy, it was like I was alone. It was the best case scenario.

And then the crib incident happened and I guess through that experience he learned he can control us. This household has not been the same since.

I am totally baffled about this switch in his personality.

Lately he's extremely busy (that's not new actually) and gets into things constantly. He doesn't listen to anything anyone says. He refuses to share. And by refuses, I mean no amount of punishment, distraction, anything will get him to share something he wants possession of. He torments other kids. He pesters Buddy to the point of Buddy actually losing his patience occasionally (which is saying something). He has to do EVERYTHING Buddy does, and I mean everything. He throws temper tantrums, although in his defense not too often. He knows he's more effective if he uses the old standby (pouty lip and big tears). He refuses to cuddle. He throws food on the floor. He rips up books. He colors on every surface in this house and that includes walls, bed sheets, couches, tables, people. He climbs on the counters and throws things on the counter onto the floor. He runs away when I need him to come. He breaks things. He is terribly stubborn. He acts, well, like a 2-year old.

(I know everyone that has seen me parent this child since his infancy is giving themselves a high-five at this point since up til now he's been too good to be true. I know you've all been jealous of that. )

Here are some highlights to the last few days so you can see what I'm up against (And no I still am not over putting him back in his crib 50 times every single bed time for 10 days straight. It'll be a long time before I get over that. And I'm going to keep bringing it up until I recover.)

• Sambo wants to do everything Buddy does, so he thinks he's old enough to go potty on the potty like a big boy. Except I have a strict policy against potty training a child who isn't ready -- and by ready I mean unable to go without accidents or me asking him every five minutes if he needs to go. Sambo is not by any means ready. First of all, he doesn't speak, so he'd never be able to communicate his need to go (although I did do a google search for a potty sign, which I've started to teach him.) Secondly, he's only 23 months, for crying out loud. He IS NOT ready. However, if I had all the time in the world, he'd be sitting on the potty all day long. He is obsessed. I've told him that if he wants to wear underwear (and he does) he needs to tell me if he has to go but that's never happened. As a compromise, I sit him on the potty before bed and in the last week he's peed 4 times. However, when I get him off and try to put a diaper on he gets upset.
  
• He yells "GO!" when he gets impatient in the car. And sometimes he'll yell it for 15 minutes straight. A backseat driver already.
• The other day he climbed up in a stepstool in my bedroom and was fiddling with the light switch, which had the cover off because I've been painting. I told him to get down. And just as I got up to remove him, he got shocked. I could hear the jolt and of course he cried immediately. Luckily he was totally fine, but when I reached him I got a shock too and I noticed the top layer of skin had been burned off on two fingers. Not 30 seconds after running his hand under cold water and consoling him, he was back on the stepstool playing with the lightswitch again.
  
• The other day I was throwing a diaper away in the garage trash and I noticed Buddy's Nike shoes in the trash. They are new, so there was no reason for them to be thrown away. I knew the culprit right away. I wonder what else will turn up missing around here. And I still can't figure out when during the day he was out of my sight long enough to sneak into the garage by himself.
  
• He's still a big eater and can open the pantry, so he tries to help himself to snacks all day long. I do not allow this, so yesterday while he was on Buddy's watch, he took advantage of us both. I was desperate to get some housework done and had pretty much every article of clothing we own in a pile in the hall. I was upstairs folding some of it and the boys were watching a movie. Every 2 minutes I'd call down the stairs, "Is Sambo doing OK?" and every time Buddy would answer "Yes!" After awhile I came down to find Sambo with a pile of crumbs all over the couch and a half-eaten box of Triscuits and Cheese Nips. I had fed him a snack right before my laundry break, by the way. Of course I scolded Buddy for allowing this, and he said, "You asked if he was doing OK. He's doing great!" I'll remember to be more specific next time.

You know what, though? All this and more has added up to more reasons to love and adore our little boy. G and I go to sleep every night talking about how much we adore his personality and how richly he has blessed us. For the first 23 months of his life I've often said he came out just perfect. And now that he's got some spunk to him, I think he might have even gotten more perfect.

Thank You

The conference is over.

I'm not even tired -- it's weird.

To say it was phenomenal would be a huge understatement.

I'm so full of joy and reverence for the adoption experience and for those that shared their stories this weekend. We had birth parents, adoptive parents, adoptees, attorneys, caseworkers, general authorities come. One by one they shared their feelings about adoption. Each person came at the experience from a different angle, but each one came with a message of hope. They all spoke with emotional and boldness that adoption can and will bless all parties involved.

I know for certain that I will joyfully and thankfully look back on this experience for years to come. Both because of the experience I gained in putting all the details together -- but mostly because of the reassurance I felt that my family is being created by divine design. There is a blueprint for my family and each member has arrived in just the way there were supposed to.

Adoption is an extremely complex process. Emotionally, logistically, financially, spiritually, and legally. But it's purpose is simple: Love.

I am so in love with my boys' birth mothers. The lessons I learned this weekend are swirling around in my mind and there just aren't explanations or even metaphors to describe that love I have for them. Not to mention the love they have for their babies.

But I am thankful and I hold those feelings close to my heart. And I'm especially thankful that the two boys who are at the center of all this love will always know that they are loved and wanted.

At Least Two People are Getting Some Sleep Around Here

First things first: Happy November! It's National Adoption Month!

Today my celebrations included:

• Hugging and Kissing my boys about a million times.
• Wearing my Courage necklace which reminds me of all sorts of adopted-related things.
• Buying a new shirt because I deserve it. And I need to look halfway decent tomorrow.
  
• Finishing up last-minute preparations for the conference tomorrow and Saturday
• Writing my congressmen to request they support HR 213, which will make the adoption tax credit permanent.

I still have a lot to blog about including: Another project almost completed. My big surprise project that I still need to tell you about. Some interesting things the boys have been up to. And since it's Adoption Month, I'm supposed to be blogging about adoption. I promise I will do that next week.

In the meantime, please enjoy my token Halloween pics. We had a GREAT Halloween, by the way including grandma and grandpa visiting from Nevada, and my brother and parents coming over for the evening. And I got a new hairdo. (I promise, it's true. But don't get your hopes up. It's subtle.)


And.... The crib-jumping saga is over. Thank goodness because that was a really frustrating 10 days. No, we didn't purchase a crib tent. We just gave in and let the boys sleep together. Buddy has always struggled to fall asleep quickly -- but not anymore. Who knew that all he needed was a little brother to kick him in the back for an hour straight and that would be the ticket. Whatever works, I guess. I'm not joking when I say they have been sleeping marvelously.

Two little monkeys sleeping in the bed.