Thursday, September 16, 2010

Broken

Nearly 5 weeks ago I attempted to step from my house down one step into the garage.  Unfortunately, it was a terrible mis-step onto a cleat... and I quickly fell into a heap on the garage floor.  While the kids watched.  The pain was excruciating and immediately both boys were in tears watching me writhe around until I could get control of myself.  I had a carload of groceries to bring into the house and Buddy was supposed to be at a birthday party in 30 minutes.  And we all needed lunch.  Oh, and G was out of town, not expected home for 7 more hours.

Within minutes, my foot was enormous.  Through his tears of worry, Buddy was able to help me accomplish my tasks, including getting his brother down for a nap.  But not without all sorts of drama like, "Are you going to die?" and "Great.  Now we're going to have to go to daycare."

To make a long story short, I called G home and he came as quickly as possible, cancelling his meeting with clients and driving the 3.5 hours to get home to help.  A friend (the birthday party hostess) took me to the doctor for x-rays which turned out fine.  My foot was too swollen for a good view apparently, but the radiologist reviewed the x-rays the following week and called with "you're fine" results.  The doctor told me that if I wasn't feeling better in two weeks to follow up with a podiatrist.

Well, during that two week period, I put my mind over matter and willed myself to feel better.  I was in charge of our stake daddy/daughter barn activity so I spent several days shopping for supplies and food, getting the barn ready and moving heavy haybales.  During that time I also canned pears, got all the necessities together for Buddy to start school, enjoyed the last days of summer, and packed for vacation.

Eventually I went to the podiatrist when I realized my foot was still horribly swollen and bruised and sore.  He took x-rays which showed damage, but they were inconclusive because of the location and swelling.  The next day we left for a trip to Utah, with plans to get an MRI when I returned.  I hobbled all over Utah willing myself to heal.  Some days were definitely better than others and I learned that some activities (swimming) put way too  much resistance on my foot to be comfortable.

I finally had the MRI last week, then the following day I returned to Utah for another trip in which I helped my dearest Shaniqua unpack her new house.  I actually felt pretty good the entire time.  So good that I figured the MRI results would be totally clean.

Today I got the frustrating news that I have torn ligaments and at least six fractures.  Can you believe that?!  And now I'm on strict orders to stay off my foot which includes very little driving for the next four weeks.  I tried to convince the doctor that the orders were totally impractical and don't fit into my lifestyle.  Then he reminded me that I've got an 5-week injury that hasn't begun to heal because rest "didn't fit into my lifestyle."  Then he strongly encouraged me to rent a "knee scooter" and gave me a postcard with a phone number to call.  He said the knee scooter is awesome because you can get out of the house and stay "active" while avoiding the burden of crutches, which in his opinion are not good for you back and wrists. 

I literally laughed hysterically at the idea.  I mean actually laughed and laughed and laughed.  Especially when I took a good look at the advertisement:

My doctor is a young, attractive, and extremely hip, so I totally trust his judgment on cool.  Except this is just not OK.  Can you imagine me riding around Safeway and soccer practice with my knee scooter?  It's just as bad as headgear in middle school.  No, on second thought, I think this might be worse.

12 comments:

Dylan said...

Having worn head gear in junior high, I have to say your knee scooter is much cooler! Think of how much fun the boys will have taking it for joy rides. Can't do that with head gear!

crazymamma said...

jesse would like you to rent this so he can take turns on it next week..oh ya he is serious too!ahahahahaha. i vote knee scooter..it would bring great stories and healing!

Myndi said...

I actually think those leg scooters are cool too. A lady I used to work with had one and she could get to meetings in half the time the rest of us could. Kelli's husband had one this summer too--very cool, I was a little jealous.

Six fractures!? Holy crap. We have a podiatrist resident in our neighborhood (his wife is wearing an "I heart feet" shirt today) and he says one of the things he has to deal with is foot reconstruction after the "warning shot" from drug dealers--because it causes a lot of damage and agony without killing the person.

You make a great case for sucking up pain, putting your shoulder to the wheel, and getting 'er done. Geez. Maybe you could use a little rest time. Never mind, I've had that for the first time in 36 weeks this last week and I am so bored I may be going insane.

And Buddy, "Great, now we have to go to daycare." LOL. By the way, Hip has been asking where Buddy is, where Sam is, and where Robin is like three times a day. I don't know where that is coming from.

Nicki said...

You HAVE to rent the scooter for at least one day - that way we can have a WT Wal-Mart night with Shauna next week!

Hempr said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hempr said...

M, that is the coolest. One of the anesthesiologists that I used to work with got one when he blew out his achilles. He put one of those orange flags that stick up. You could se him rolling down the OR halls a mile away. Then he put an old school horn on it, the kind that you squeeze. It was sick! You should get one just you can have the horn to squeeze at people/Greg.

Jordan said...

Knee scooter it is. All votes are for the scooter so it's a done deal.

Get ready for dinner tomorrow, it's going to blow your mind. Actually, we've never made this yet so we'll see how it goes.

The Robisons said...

That stinks Michelle. Wish I could be there to help! And also to see you if you end up having to ride the knee scooter!

StrykerLOVE said...

hahahaha - post a picture when you actually get one and make sure you smile just like that girl in the ad

R said...

I have to admit that L's PICC line to his heart for antibiotics was a bit cooler looking than the knee scooter. Geez, this family is falling apart!

JLJ said...

I'm having mixed reactions to this post. Much sympathy for your sad foot but a lot of laughter for the thought of you pushing yourself around on a knee scooter. (and buddy's day care comment - that was awesome). I can't wait for a picture!

Michelle said...

I know you told me about this, but I'm the worst at checking everyone's blogs so now I'm finally getting all the details of your broken-ness...you can ALWAYS call us you know, wherever we are! Oh, and one of my co-workers had to use that fun little knee bike around the office when she had foot surgery just a month ago...she said it was annoying, fun, and embarrassing all at the same time Love you