Took My Breath Away

My normal radio stations were making my headache worse this morning, so I flipped over to the country station.  The song caught my attention, so I listened to the whole thing.  A google search just now taught me that it's called "Take Your Breath Away" by George Strait. 

I've heard the quote, "Life isn't measured by the breaths you take but by the things that take your breath away," but I've never given it much thought. 

Although corny, the song reminded me of that quote, and really made me think.  The thought came to me that we often remember our lives as a series of events.  But it's the way those events affect us that makes us who we are.  So when I heard the song this morning I determined to start taking notice of things in my boring old life that do take my breath away.  I'll write some of them here, as a way to be grateful for some of the simple and awesome things that happen all the time.  But otherwise would go unrecognized or even forgotten.  I encourage you to do the same on your blog or the comments here. 

To start, yesterday:  I was volunteering in Buddy's class at school while a professional artist gave the kids a lesson in drawing and the techniques of painting with watercolors.  The artist showed the kids some slides of art and colors and asked them all sorts of questions to get their creative juices flowing.  There is one boy in Buddy's class that is, in my opinion, a little socially awkward.  He lives down the road from us, so Buddy made friends with him on the bus and now they sit together on the bus, eat lunch together, and he's been to our house a few times.  He's not an outcast or anything, but not the typical outgoing person that Buddy is normally attracted to, yet for whatever reason (and I've asked myself 100 times why), he has became one of Buddy's closest friends this year.  Anyway, that boy raised his hand and answered one of the artists questions.  Immediately, I noticed Buddy try to make eye contact with the friend from across the room.  Then... I saw Buddy give him a thumbs up.  I hope to never forgot what it means to be a good friend.

Today:  Sambo started a speech class at the early special education offices.  He got all ready for "school," put his backpack on, and told me all the way over to the school that he didn't want me to go in with him.  He wanted me to leave him there so he could be a big boy -- and I did.  He was so cute I could hardly stand it.  And although he won't be three years old until Sunday, he grew up today.

Today:  I was reading a blog post today from one of my favorite bloggers.  She was writing about disciplining her 6-year old triplets and mentioned a comment she received on her blog four years ago, when her triplets were two.  "Shame on you for not possessing the same control you expect of your children."  This comment didn't just take my breath away, but sucked all my air right out of my body.  I am going to use this comment as a guidepost for my parenting.

Monster Bash

Buddy is really into monsters, and absolutely loves all things Halloween, so we hosted eight of Buddy's monster-friends for his 7th birthday party. 

We started with a monster craft.

Then we played freeze dance to some "spooky" music.  Freeze dance quickly turned into a 10-kid dog pile.

Then we had the kids put their hand in bowls of "blood and guts," "monster fingernails," "scabs," "eyeballs," "intestines," and "monster fingers." It was hysterical how some of the boys were so afraid they would hardly participate.  A few boys thought the activity was dumb and then there were a few (like Buddy) who are so imaginative that they really hoped that those were really were monster fingers. 

Next, the boys wrapped each other with toilet paper like mummies.  We were so impressed with how well the boys did at this activity.  And how much they loved it!

We finished the party with monster cupcakes and presents. 

That evening we went to Famous Daves so Buddy could get himself some ribs (his favorite), and we ended at Sonic for slushes.  Then on Sunday we had a family party with Buddy's second favorite: whole-wheat waffles with strawberries, chocolate chips and syrup along with blueberry muffins and eggs, and then caramel apples for dessert.  We had a great weekend.  We are so happy Buddy gave us a reason to celebrate -- and eat excellent food!

Lucky Number Seven!

Buddy turned 7 on Sunday!  I will post later about the weekend's festivities, but first I wanted to highlight what an amazing boy he is.

His likes:

• Playing outside
• Playing with friends
• Reading
• Going to school
• Harry Potter
• Monsters
• Animals and birds
• Going out to dinner
• Swimming
• Rocks and minerals
• Getting presents
• His family

His Dislikes:

• Tomatoes
• Satan
• Going to bed
• Public speaking
• Contention or competition

(I asked him his likes and dislikes and a few of the above answers are from his own comments.  Can you decide which are from him and which are from me?)

His Talents:

• He is a peacemaker.  He can't stand contention and never picks fights, fights back, or reacts in anger.
• He can sure argue, though.  He generally thinks he's right and his way is best.  He is very articulate and uses that to his advantage.  The longer we spend with him the more we realize, more often than not, he is right. It's infuriating, actually. 
• He treats his brother like gold.  I have hardly met anyone as patient as he is.  I keep waiting for the day when he gets tired of giving in, sharing, having his stuff ruined, or being copied -- but I doubt the day will come.  He sincerely likes having Sambo around.
• He is so smart, it's starting to worry me.  He's on the verge of being smarter than me and that is NOT good.  He loves science and loves to read.  Math at school is really fun, so he's starting to like that a lot too.  He's not very creative in his writing yet at school, but he's working on it and in all the practicing he's been doing, he's developing excellent spelling and punctuation. 
• He is friendly and loves his friends.  He makes new friends wherever he goes, particularly with boys his age, boys older than him, and babies. 
• He is confident in his faith.  And speaking of faith, his faith is enormous.  He wrote a book at school about the things he is most thankful for.  To summarize, he's thankful for his parents, his brother, himself because he's a "son of God" and for God himself.  He has started reading the Book of Mormon and his insights make me think for days.  G and I have had our best gospel discussions from our entire marriage in the last few weeks discussing the things he's brought up.
• He can talk people into just about anything.  He comes home from school with trinkets and presents from different people every day. And he's been known to come home from a neighbor's house with new (to him) shoes, toys, candy, ice cream, you name it.  There's been a steady stream of neighborhood kids in our backyard for the past six months putting slugs/frogs/snakes/salamanders/mole carcasses in his animal cages.  Everyone knows that if they find a cool bug or animal (or set of bones) they should come put them in our backyard.  (Much to my dismay.)
• He is still full of energy and life. He runs everywhere and climbs on everything.  He makes messes wherever he goes. 
• He is funny and clever.
• He is a hardworker. 
• He is a great leader and a good example. 
• He is spontaneous.  This is often a problem at school or when it's time to calm down and focus, but it's a huge part of his personality.  Therefore, we're trying to find a good reason for this "talent."
• He loves and respects nature.
• He has developed a very tender and cuddly part of his personality.  He was not cuddly as a baby or toddler, so we have loved this new development. 

G and I love him so very much.  We asked each other last night if there is a more loved child on this earth.  It's really interesting because he struggles to realize just how many people love him.  It's so frustrating considering the huge amount of love me, G, and Sambo have for him, our extended family, his birth family, Sambo's birth family, and his huge circle of friends.  He is loved, that's for sure.

A Few Weird Things

Today was exhausting.  Not bad in any way, but I'm bone tired.  And the rest of the week isn't looking any less tiring. 

Here's a few weird things that have been happening around here lately. 

• Both boys have birthdays withing the next few days.  Sambo (the littler one) thinks he's turning 7 because Buddy is.  I'm sure this is normal with a younger sibling, but I think it's hilarious.  He had to have a speech evaluation the other day and one of the questions was to see if he knew his age.  He said he was 7 and will not be convinced otherwise.

• Buddy added "baby sister" to his Christmas list.  We've talked about adopting in generalizations because the last thing he needs is more pressure in his life.  Plus he has no concept of time and the wait will be long.  However, when he added a sister to his list, I talked to him a little more about it so he's clear that we are actively hoping to adopt.  I feel better that he knows and I don't have to talk in generalizations any more.  I hope his faith helps it happen.  I'm sure it will.

• Everyone in this family is bossy beyond belief.  Either this is a requirement for being one of us, or it's learned.  I can't decide which is most true.  Anyway, we babysat a 1-year old baby the other night and my boys both thought they were in charge of the baby.  Sambo kept telling her to "be quiet." And when she cried, Buddy spent the entire time trying to get her to stop.  It was equally cute and disturbing.

• After babysitting the baby I asked my boys if they are ready for a baby sister.  Sambo said "yes."  Buddy sighed and said, "No.  It's going to be so much work and I already have so many things to do."  I found that incredibly funny.  (Refer previous comment about bossiness.)

• Today Buddy was looking through some toy ads, circling what he wants for Christmas (although I'm almost done shopping).  He informed me he was circling some DS games.  He doesn't have a DS and isn't getting a DS, so I thought that was pretty interesting.  He also informed me he was circling a few games that are for older kids, "But who cares.  Nobody pays attention to those labels anyway."  !!!!!!  Who taught him about game ratings?  He doesn't play video games, so how would he know anything about them?  And if he's talking to his friends enough about video games to learn about the rating system, why is he not more interested in playing them?  It's all good.  I'm glad he doesn't play them.

• I wanted to go to the gym tonight and planned to meet G there at 5:30.  That's like the worst possible time of day to be driving around town, so I left super early -- which involved hurrying like a crazy woman all afternoon to get to the three stores I needed to go to, put away groceries, get homework done, and make dinner.  While I was changing into my gym clothes, I put Buddy in charge of making sure Sambo got his shoes on, coat on, and got buckled in the car.  When I got downstairs, I was overjoyed to see the boys both sitting in the car, all buckled in, and waiting patiently.  So off we went.  We rolled into the parking lot just in time to meet G.  However, when I got out of the car, I realized Sambo wasn't wearing any shoes.  Back home we went, arriving 50 minutes after we left.  No workout done.  And a colossal waste of time.  I was mildly annoyed with Buddy for forgetting Sambo's shoes, until I remembered that he's not quite 7 years old, and although he thinks he's in charge, he's not.  I am, and I need to remember to check things like that before we leave the house.  Note to self.

• We've been in denial about Sambo growing up and turning 3 in a few weeks.  Like major denial.  We still call him our baby and assume he's clueless and helpless (which he's not).  I realized last week that I've been putting him in shoes two sizes too small and he actually fits better in size 3T clothes, rather than the 2T outfits I've been dressing him in.  When did he get so big?????!!!!!!  This is so sad.  I hate it when my kids grow up and I'm taking him turning 3 really, really hard. 

• G took Buddy into a dressing room with him last week to try on a shirt.  Buddy told him he liked the shirt, if he was trying to dress up like a cub scout leader. 

• Buddy hasn't lost any teeth and doesn't even have any even close to being loose.  As of his last dentist appointment in July, he's not even close.  He's really sad about this news, but we are so thrilled!  He's so cute with his baby teeth (and remember?  we're in denial about our kids growing up).  He is, however, finally sprouting two of his 6-year molars, just in time to turn 7 this week.  He says he can't feel anything, but they are really swollen and red.

• Buddy's fingernails were getting long so last night G started teasing him that maybe we should paint them like a girl.  Buddy had no problem with that, and suggested we paint them black, like Ethan in his school class.  (Ethan was a ninja for Halloween and painted his nails black.)  I'm not sure what disturbed me more.  The fact that Buddy was willing to paint his nails, the fact that Buddy wanted to paint them black, or the "since when do we follow every whim and trend" lecture that came out of G's mouth.

• Sambo and Buddy can finally carry on a conversation and we are so happy on so many levels.  We've only been waiting for 6-7 loooong years for this day to come.  Buddy has had diarrhea of the mouth since he was a year old and he's been in desperate need of someone to talk to other than me.

• Have I mentioned I have never EVER clipped my kids' nails?  I have no interest, so I just don't.  Now that Shauna has moved, I'm not sure how G is going to keep up on that task.  Oh wait, he's not keeping up. 

• Sambo has been potty-trained for a couple months now.  It was brutal getting him motivated, but once we figured out his "currency," we haven't looked back.  He's been a pro and has had very few accidents, and hasn't had any for about six weeks. Does that mean we're out of the woods?  He's mostly dry at night and takes himself when he has to go.  It's been amazing.  So what was his "currency?"  Well, currency!  I had tried literally everything to motivate him and one day he said he wanted money.  So, that's what I gave him.  He'd get "money" (a penny) for pee and "big money" (a nickel, dime, or quarter) for poop.  That's all it took. 

• We saw a group of three little girls, approximately Buddy's age at Burger King the other day.  I asked him which one was prettiest (does that make me an awful parent???) because I'm curious about his taste and I'm curious at what age boys can tell a truly "pretty" girl.  One of the girls fit the "pretty and feminine girl" mold with long blond hair, a sparkly headband, and a ruffly shirt.  She was very cute, I have to admit.  Sure enough, he got super embarrassed concerning that girl and was un-phased by the other two.  I found the entire conversation fascinating.

• Every time G goes to Costco, he forgets to get half the list.  I'm not criticizing, I'm just making an observation.  (I haven't forgotten I'm the one that took Sambo to the gym without shoes...)  It's the craziest thing.  I think he gets distracted by the samples.  I guess I should be glad he happily goes to Costco.  Wait!  Typing this out just gave me some new insight.  All of a sudden I just realized that he enjoys shopping so much at Costco he purposely forgets half the list, so he can go back a few days later.  Do you think?

That was AWESOME

To answer your question, YES, I do plan to blog every time I go to a Brandon Flowers/Killers concert.

We went to our third last night and when it ended I was seriously sad.  It was SOOOOO good.  Before it started I had to make my peace with the fact that Brandon Flowers is solo at the moment and we wouldn't be watching a Killers concert.  I knew the show would be good, but nothing can compare with the type of show the Killers put on.  Brandon is such a showman and together with the band and the lights and the keyboard... it's all really exciting.  I had to come to grips with the fact that this was smaller and it wouldn't be as showy.  Luckily, he did do "Mr. Brightside" during the encore, which was excellent.  The rest of the show was so good too, although not quite as good as the last we went to.

A few other observations.  Brandon always wears the goofiest outfits.  He had his feathered jacket last tour.  We watched him on Jimmy Kimmel to promote his solo album and he wore the strangest 90's tapered pants and a Navajo vest.  We were hoping he'd wear that because it was so odd/cool.  But, he opted for suspenders and high-waisted tapered jeans last night.  It's definitely been awhile since I've seen anyone in their 20's wear suspenders.

G really likes the venue we went to last night and I have to agree.  We had to sit upstairs in the bar, so I could sit (with my bum foot and all).  I had a perfect view of the stage, although G's seat wasn't as good as mine.  To be completley honest, I'm too old and too lame to enjoy being in the middle of the chaos on the floor, though, so my bum foot really actually came in handy.  G LOVES to be in the middle of the chaos.  (This is one of the few differences in personality/interests we have.  That and his love of snow sports.)

Anyway, I noticed that we were the youngest folks in the seating area.  And we aren't exactly young.  I didn't realize that Brandon Flowers draws such an old fan base.  There were a lot of people in the 40's and even 50's around us.  I'm sure the young whippersnappers were down on the floor, but sheesh, it's not like this was an Elton John concert.

Oh, and the other thing that was really odd was how many people were there stag.  The lady sitting next to me was alone.  And the guy in front of me was alone.  And then there were two people across from us alone.  I thought it would be cool to hook them all up, but they all seemed totally fine being alone.  So we left them that way.  Who goes to concerts alone?????  Apparenlty quite a few people.

We love that all restaurants/bars/concert venues are smoke-free in Portland.  SO NICE.

So, until next time. 

Reason #8762 Why We Love Open Adoptions

I suggested Buddy write a thank-you note to his birthmom for some gifts she gave him for his upcoming birthday.  This is what he came up with 100% on his own.  I love this.  But I can guarantee that this will make her day/life.

Front cover of the card.  She didn't really give him "diamonds" but her husband, Dan, gave him some big plastic jewels that are admittedly AWESOME.  Purchased from a gas station, of all places.

Back cover of the card.

Inside the card.
(click to enlarge)

National Adoption Month

It's National Adoption Month!  To celebrate, G and I went to Seattle to an adoption conference this past weekend.  I might write more on that later because it was excellent!

We also finally made story books with pictures to tell our boys their adoption stories.  They turned out fantastic and each boy will get theirs for their birthdays coming up in a few weeks.  Buddy especially will love his.  He is very interested in his birth and adoption story and loves looking at old pictures, so he'll really appreciate it.  We can hardly wait to give it to him.

I just read my sister's second baby's birth story this morning, which was really cool and well-written, by the way.  But anyway, she had a phrase in there I'd never heard before and describes infertility and the adoption process better than I've ever heard before.  Pretty amazing considering all the reading and discussing and thinking I've done on the topic.  And to think what I feel was summed up by a woman who just gave birth.  Now if that's not ironic. 

"I felt empty, physically.  I felt full, emotionally." 

That's what it feels like to go through the adoption process.  The process is so incredibly frustrating and hard.  Adoption doesn't cure infertility, although counselors suggest you make some peace with it before you start the adoption process.  But with all the ups and downs of the adoption process, infertility still manages to rear it's ugly head it seems on a regular basis.  Although we're in the valley of this third adoption process -- with nothing good happening -- I am so thankful for this gift.  I love being part of the adoption community.  I love having deep friendships with birth families.  I love getting to know women with unplanned pregnancies.  I love talking with adoptive families and adoptees.

But mostly I love my boys and the idea of a third little one coming to our family someday.

Where so much has been taken away, I've been given way more.   And that makes me feel full, emotionally.

My adoption network + my boys + the hope of a third child - pregnancy = a very full heart.

Road Trip (by G)

When I was a freshman at BYU, I met Marc in the dorms, who became one of my best friends. Music, among other things, brought us together. I introduced him to bands like Pavement and he introduced me to other bands including the Pixies. We would hang out all the time and go to shows and other activities. We even married girls who were roommates.

Fast-forward 17 years. We've both graduated with graduated degrees, have kids, work in professional fields and are older and slower than we'd care to admit. Just before Father's Day, Marc's wife, Whitney, contacted me and asked if I would be interested in seeing the Pixies with Marc in Las Vegas. I thought it was one of the greatest ideas I'd ever heard and begged M to let me go. After M agreed, plane tickets and concert tickets were purchased, a hotel was booked, and plans were made for a road trip.

On September 24th, I flew into Salt Lake City and at 9:00am the next morning, Marc picked me up and we were on our way to Las Vegas. We had a lot of catching up to do. We stopped and had chicken fried steak at a little cafe in Beaver, UT on the way. We rolled in to Vegas in the afternoon, checked into the hotel and then took the shuttle to the strip. After walking around for a while and taking in the sights we had dinner at BLT Burger in the Mirage. BLT Burger is only in a few locations. When M and I were in NYC, we had to decide between BLT Burger and Stand and we chose Stand, so naturally I was really excited to eat at BLT Burger. The food was excellent and I even had a twinkie milkshake for desert (it sounds kinda gross, but it was awesome). After we went back to the hotel, changed, and headed over to the Hard Rock Hotel for the show.





The opening band was pretty lame, but when the Pixies went on, they rocked it. We were in the back for the beginning, but once the the Pixies went on, we had to move to the front. We were probably 5 rows from the front of the stage, so we had a really good view. The show totally rocked and the Pixies sounded great. After the show, we stood in line to get a CD of the live show we'd just seen.



After the show we headed back down to the strip for a while, stopped for a midnight snack and finally rolled back into the hotel around 2:00am. We slept in the next morning and headed back to Utah. It goes without saying that our road trip was a huge success and for a little while, we felt like we were back in college again. A big thanks to Whitney and M for letting us do it.