If your child talks incessantly and needs someone new to talk to, give him the home phone AND your cell phone and have him call himself. I've been known to do this and Buddy can talk for a solid thirty minutes to himself. A few cell minutes used, a little mommy patience spared.
If your child has too much energy and you have a lot of work that needs to be done, put a pair of ear muffs onto your child, plug in the shop vac, and let them have at the garage. An impromptu afternoon bath also works pretty well.
If your child wakes up too early in the morning and you go to bed way too late every night and really need some more morning sleep, here's an idea. First, put a dark shade or dark blinds in the child's room so the sun doesn't shine in their face at dawn. Then negotiate a good wake-up time with your child. Get them a digital clock and teach them how to tell time. Make a very large batch of pancakes and put them in the freezer. If the child stays quietly in bed until the appropriate time (8:30 in our house), they get waffles or pancakes for breakfast. This is a win-win situation because the child gets pancakes, which they love, and mommy is energetic and well-rested when she gets up. (Which is a requirement for children as hyper as mine.)
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Now, if any of you wise parents have any advice about handling a smart mouth, please let me know. I have a few techniques and punishments for handling outright disrespect (which aren't really working either), but for today I need help with this type of smart mouth. Buddy has a real habit of using the things I say to him against me. How do I convey that I'm the parent and he's the child and some things aren't appropriate for children to say? Here are a few scenarios. Say your child is talking back. You ask them to talk respectfully and they reply, "I'm in a bad mood. And if someone is in a bad mood you should just ignore them. So just ignore me." Or one day I put him in time out for putting pebbles in our neighbor's air conditioner unit. He was calm the entire time. But when he came out he said, "I'm going to say this with my words. While I was in time out I was thinking I am very upset with you and you are very disrespectful." Or then there's the recent time when he said, "I am mad at you and want to say something to you but I'm not going to because it's too mean."
I mean, I've taught him not to yell or whine and to "use his words" which he obviously does. Except his words just don't sound so nice coming from a small boy. Where's the balance here?
Any advice? Please?