The Ultimate Adoption Story

Last year at Christmas time I was  up all night trying to teach Sambo to sleep through the night.  I had a lot of time on my hands during the the night so I read a novel about the love story between Jesus' parents, Mary and Joseph.  As I read, I thought a lot about my newborn baby and how his adoption story related to the Savior's birth and life.  I had a bunch of ideas and thought once I could articulate them, I ought to write an essay or at the very least a blog entry about it all.  In the last year I've thought about those ideas often.  Joseph was an adoptive father, although we don't often mention "adoption" when talking about Christmas.  But besides trusting Mary, which is a remarkable part of the story, he loved and reared Jesus even though he wasn't Jesus' father.  I wish I had the ability to articulate how those ideas affect me.

This week I watched the "Home For the Holidays" special on TV.  It was an hour-long show highlighting special families who have adopted children from the foster care system.  Celebrities with a special connection to adoption performed.  The show started with a song by Faith Hill, who was adopted.  As the song started I assumed it was a song about a birth mom, since the show was about adoption, after all.  But a few moments in, I realized it was a song about Mary and Joseph and birth of Jesus.  The song was fantastic and if it was still on youtube, I'd post a link to her performance.   Trust me when I say you are really missing out.  Instead you can watch the music video which is good too.  I was so moved by her performance I watched it several times that night and each time I thought, this is the exact idea that I've had about Mary and Joseph and how much the Savior has to do with adoption.  Obviously he makes adoption happen, but his is a story of adoption too. 

Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

The Very Best Week in My Whole Life

There are two things you must know about me before reading any further. First of all, I absolutely detest the snow. I have never appreciated it. Although G is a die-hard ski and snowboarding enthusiast, I have absolutely no desire to try. I don't enjoy the looks of snow, I hate being cold, living in Utah drove me nuts, I hate driving in it, I hate how it ruins travel plans, and no, I don't like sledding either. And I'm totally secure in the fact that all that information makes me rather un-cool. So what.

Another thing about me: I have been trying to devise a sneaky plan where I tell everyone I'm going on vacation, make arrangements for church, etc and then stay home and do nothing for a week. Everyone will think I'm gone so I won't have any responsibilities and the phone won't ring. I tried to convince G to let me do this over Thanksgiving, but he thought that was ridiculous.

So I've just experienced my dream week and it was all the results of a huge winter storm that hit our area with several inches of snow and ice. So I'm changing my tune about snow. I think I might LOVE it now.

Mr. I-Refuse-to-Walk-But-I-Can-Stand-No-Problem -- and Buddy in front of the tree

Here are the highlights of my week.

Buddy on a walk around the neighborhood last night. The snow went to his knees and the poor kid only was wearing vans on his feet.

• I only got dressed once this week. I've worn my pajamas every day for over a week!
• I've sat on the couch either reading or watching TV for hours this week.
• I've made delicious meals for dinner every night.
• I even made the decision on Monday that I was going to gamble on the weather and not plan my very big Christmas sharing time that I was in charge of. Nor was I going to break my back and coordinate Christmas gifts/handwritten notes for 140 teachers and Primary children. This is totally unlike me to procrastinate or blow something like that off, and it felt WONDERFUL!!!!!
• I did a little scrapbooking.
• I've played with my children for hours, talked to them, read to them, sat there and watched them and never once felt like I should be doing anything else.
• I vacuumed under the couch cushions (a 15 minute project I've been meaning to get to for a year. But who has time to do cleaning that is never noticed?)
• I baked cookies.
• I took more naps than I can count.
• I went to bed super late every night and slept in every morning. My dream schedule.
• I had two girls' nights because the evenings tended to be a bit better weather-wise than the mornings/days.
• We had no church two weeks in a row!!!!!!
• I watched Buddy re-arrange the ornaments on the Christmas tree at least 300-400 times a day.
• Have I mentioned I sat on the couch for hours each day?

Buddy's rosy cheeks after our walk last night.

This was the best Christmas gift I could have ever received. A wonderfully amazingly relaxing week. And to think we've now received 8 inches of new snow and a sheet of ice over the top plus it's Christmas and my birthday and my sister is coming into town -- so this coming week is looking pretty enjoyable too.

Snow Day

The weather man had been predicting snow for the last number of days. In fact, the possibility of snow took up the first 8 minutes of the Thursday newscast before they even got to the story about a bank bombing that killed two people. This has always amused me since we have moved to Portland. The slightest hint of snow or a single snowflake puts this place into a panic. Growing up, we would get snow in the valley. Nothing would get canceled, everyone would go about their business as usual. Then, when living in Utah, the snow was worse, but everything would still happen as normal. This was just one of those things that you dealt with.

Yesterday, it snowed a few inches. There was around the clock new coverage of the snow. Everyone on the news was warning everyone to stay indoors and not to step foot outside. Everything was canceled. I guess in defense of Oregonians, the snow can lead to dangerous ice which is extremely problematic. That coupled with how Oregonians drive or rather attempt to drive on the roads does make it better for people to stay inside. Plus it gives me a chance to get Buddy out of the house and chuck a few snowballs.

Happy Birthday, G

G turned the big THIRTY-FOUR yesterday. That's what I like to call "the mid thirties." Yikes!

There were a few highlights to the day that I think are mildly blog-worthy. First of all, we started the day with Buddy coming into the room to say there was a naked guy who was showing his bum on our computer. I sprang from the bed to see what in the world he was talking about. It turns out he was talking about a card G had received from his sister that we had set on the computer desk. It did have a guy showing his bum, but it wasn't nearly as vulgar as Buddy made it sound.

Then we gave presents and a hand-made card from Buddy. I had picked out some vintage wooden "Ski Mt. Bachelor" signs for his office back in July while in Sunriver. I've been stowing them away for his birthday ever since. Buddy's card was classic. It was a picture of a monster "a long time ago" with holes in the paper for eyes (three of them) and smeared colorful markers replicating something sort of like the northern lights. Inside he wrote "Dear G. I can't believe you are growing up so fast." He came up with that himself and sounded out the first few words. Classic! Especially how he called his father by his first name.

We hung out, went to the gym, and came home. G read and I did a few things around the house. Don't get bored-This next part of the story is priceless. I left with Buddy to get a babysitter and saw our bishop driving around the neighborhood wearing a Santa hat with a load of Christmas trees. He was delivering to an older couple and asked if we had a tree because it was getting dark and he had a few extra. I said we didn't have a tree, but G hates Christmas trees and "the baby is a pain in the rear and will pull a tree over." "And at this point in the season, what's the point." (I was quoting what G would have said if he was there. I love Christmas trees.) Buddy was frantic with glee because of the prospect of the bishop giving us a tree! I told him to see if there was someone more in need then us and come back if he thought that was the right thing to do... "Oh and by the way, it's G's birthday," I told him.

We arrived from picking up the babysitter around the same time the bishop showed up with the tree. So the birthday boy got a tree (which he just loves) on this big day. Christmas miracles do happen.

So then we went to one of our favorite places on earth -- The Me.lting P.ot. We have learned to get a reservation plus if they know it's a special occasion they'll put you in a private area. We love this because it's private and fun. But the best part is eavesdropping on the the folks near us. We couldn't see them because it was private, but if we listened carefully we could get in on their conversation. They were pretty dull unfortunately except when they badgered their waiter the whole time (Unlike last time when we eavesdropped on a young couple on a second date. Who takes a second date to a private table there?! We heard a lot of awkward conversation, a lot of pauses which I found out was kissing when I got up to "go to the bathroom" so I could see what they were doing.) Dinner was fabulous, by the way.

We then went to Twilight, which was better than I expected. Thanks to some amazing coupons from our entertainment book, we got G's ticket free and my ticket four dollars off. So we paid six bucks for movies that should have cost twenty-three. One of these days I'll have to blog about my love of coupons. And we ended the day reading late into the night and hoping for cancelled church because of an impending blizzard. Church has been cancelled by the way, and we have approximately two inches of snow.

I hope it was a good day for G! A far cry from most of his other birthdays when he always had finals in college and law school. Or the last few years when he's had evening work meetings on his big day. Or last year when we tried to go to dinner without a reservation and got turned away. I'm glad it could be a special day because he deserves it. He works so hard and does so much for our family. He is more of an involved father than most fathers -- and our boys adore him for it. He lets me be me, goes along with my ideas, and when he is too stubborn, the good bishop puts him in his place with a free Christmas tree. He is a terrific person and a great companion. He makes such an effort to make me and the boys happy and I appreciate that so much.

Perfection

Do you need perfection in your life?

Here he is.

Little Sambo turned ONE on Friday. I can hardly believe how quickly the last year has gone and how much he has changed during that time. He came into the world under very difficult circumstances, but you'd never know it. He has the calmest and most happy personality. Lots of people say they have great and adorable children, but honestly with Sambo it's true.

I'm totally addicted to kissing him and I try to hug and hold him as much as humanly possible. He is truly a gift to our family and while I'm so sad he's changing from a baby, I love every piece of him and can hardly wait to see what type of boy he'll grow to be. Although I've already got a pretty good idea.

So far, these are a few of my favorite things about him:

* He epitomizes joy.

* His gentle personality.

* His eyes. Stunning!

* His soft brown skin.

* His quick hands and fast legs. Apparently we only are allowed the busiest of children.

* He loves me and he reaches for me every time he sees me. But he's not at all clingy.

* He loves his brother and tolerates all sorts of annoyance from him.

* The way his face lights up when he sees his family.

* His squeal when I come to get him after a nap.

* How easy it is to get him to laugh.

* His craziness in the bathtub. And we thought his brother was a water baby!

* He isn't bothered by strangers.

*He sleeps. Lots and lots of sleep!

* But he can miss a nap and not get cranky.

* He goes with the flow. We can take him anywhere and he is totally and completely happy.

* The way he sings and keeps a beat with his foot.

* The way he yells, "more, more, more, more, more" when he wants more food.

* His terrific hand-eye coordination.

* Pretty much every single thing. (Except his vomiting. I hate the vomit.)

Happy Birthday little boy! I love you sooooooooooooooo much!

Five - Part 2

Today is a significant day for our family. Five years ago at approximately 4:30pm mountain standard time, we were handed a little baby in a white blanket. We were in Idaho Falls with freezing temperatures, wide-eyed, and shocked that a wonderful birth mom would actually trust us to raise this child. More on that in a minute.

On September 12, 2003, we were called in to meet with our adoption caseworker. It had already been an eventful week because I found out a day earlier that I had managed to pass the Oregon State Bar and would be sworn in as an attorney. As we sat nervously around the conference table, our casework informed us that we had been chosen by a birth mother, who was having a baby boy due in December. Over the course of the next few months, we wrote letters, we sent pictures, and we had a face to face visit with our birth mother. As time went on we grew more and more excited. We were buying car seats and strollers and all of the stuff that we were told we needed to have a baby.

We got a call from our caseworker on November 19 that our birth mother may go into labor soon and that we should start making arrangements to meet in Idaho Falls. Buddy was born on November 21 around 8:30am via cesarean section. He was three weeks early and weighed all of 5 pounds 13 ounces. We made arrangements, flew into Salt Lake City and drove to Idaho Falls. We had arranged to stay with a family that my cousin knew because we couldn't afford a hotel. Then on November 25, 2003, we were placed with our oldest son. Because of the laws regarding transporting adopted children across state lines, we were required to notify and have the State of Oregon sign off on allowing us to bring him back to Oregon. This was right before Thanksgiving and we had pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that we would be spending Thanksgiving in Idaho Falls. But by some miracle, all of the paperwork made it through and we were actually able to drive back to Utah to spend Thanksgiving with my family.

Obviously, there are a lot more details that I could go into as well as describing the thoughts and feelings we had. I'm not going to do that now. I can say that so much has changed in the last five years for us. Buddy, as crazy and energetic as he is, has been an absolute joy to be around and try to raise. His love and zest for life is contagious. His sense of humor always brings a smile to everyone around him. His intellect and command of the English language make him a force to be dealt with. His love of music, outdoors, and animals is unparalleled. We can't wait to see where life takes him. Happy Placement Day, Buddy.

Five

Buddy's much anticipated fifth birthday was Friday. I wanted to share a few photos and stories from his party and pay a tribute to my dear firstborn child.

First of all, Buddy believes that every party needs a theme and he'll often ask you "what kind of birthday are you having" if he finds out it's your big day soon. He settled on a shark theme a few weeks ago and we both got started brainstorming. Thank goodness for go.og.le, since I have absolutely no creative juices.

Buddy recommended a shark bite on the invitation, which apparently was a huge hit with the invitees. A few kids were convinced that a shark really did bite the invitation. I have to admit, it was really cool. Buddy really didn't want much for the party except streamers and balloons (because his baby brother loves balloons) and of course he wanted all of his "best friends" as he calls them.

And of course he wanted a shark cake. This was waaaay beyond my abilities as an artist and mother, but since I strongly believe in spoiling a child with time and attention and believe a child's birthday is a really big deal... I couldn't deny him. You might remember my dragon cake last year. At least with the dragon cake, I found a pattern online. This year, I could only find a few pictures to guide and inspire me. No instructions. And without instructions, I'm totally incapable. Me and Buddy carefully studied the pictures and came up with a plan. And if I got overwhelmed, G promised to help. I did the baking/designing/sculpting/finishing touches and G did the frosting. Thank goodness for G because before it was frosted, it strongly resembled a turtle which was not a good thing. Even after it was done it looked much more like a whale shark (without the spots, though, as Buddy noted) than a great white shark. But considering my lack of artistic ability, it was satisfactory. And Buddy was beyond grateful and thanked me multiple times. (In fact during FHE tonight, most of his " Thanksgiving gratitude list" revolved around his party, cake, and streamers.)

The party was very enjoyable and I'm not being facetious. Seven little boys add up to a whole lot of fun, energy, yelling, running, and even a pretty bad odor in the playroom when they were all in there. But I literally could not stop laughing. Here are a few highlights:

* James in full meltdown because he wanted to win a game SO bad. Even though he WAS winning by so much no one would possibly beat him. But he was so afraid of losing he just sat and cried rather than finish the game. He did win, by the way. I love winning too, so I could totally relate.
* When I served the shark cake (made with red velvet cake, by the way), I told the kids to be brave because it might be a little bloody when I cut into it. And then Tyler burst into tears. He refused to eat the cake and later said, "I only like cake if it's humpback whale cake. Not if it's shark cake."
* I made "sea water" out of apple juice and food coloring. Liam refused to drink it -- or even taste it -- and said he doesn't drink sea water, only regular water.
* Connor ate three massive pieces of cake, which was more food than I've ever seen him eat in the years I've known him.
* Noah (not my son- a different one) said, "This is my best birthday I've ever had." Poor kid got confused for a minute and thought it was his birthday. But at least he was having fun!

Buddy's Tribute

Buddy. The great joy of my life. Probably one of the best friends I'll ever have in my whole life. For sure we will aggravate each other forever, but I need him and I hope he always likes me as much as he does now.

Buddy is outgoing when I'm not, energetic when I'm exhausted, patient when I'm losing it, full of faith when I want to give up, and he's everything I ever hoped for in a son. He has developed more talents in his first five years than many people do in an entire lifetime. He is creative, funny, intellectual, kind-hearted, full of optimism, and deeply spiritual. I consider it a privilege that I get to be his mother. When I stop to think about all that went into me being chosen, I am not only humbled, but so very happy.

It's hard to remember sometimes whether he's five or fifteen. But, I wouldn't have him any other way. His energy and persuasiveness will serve him very well in his lifetime. When I think of the people I most admire, they stop at nothing, they enjoy life, they love deeply. That's my Buddy for sure. It'll be my great challenge to direct his abilities toward good things, rather than constantly trying to stop him and discourage him from being who he is. I hope he stays just like he is now. Something tells me he will.

Parenting Advice

I've got all sorts of parenting advice that doesn't work, but in the spirit of giving, I'd like to share a few ideas that do work.

If your child talks incessantly and needs someone new to talk to, give him the home phone AND your cell phone and have him call himself. I've been known to do this and Buddy can talk for a solid thirty minutes to himself. A few cell minutes used, a little mommy patience spared.

If your child has too much energy and you have a lot of work that needs to be done, put a pair of ear muffs onto your child, plug in the shop vac, and let them have at the garage. An impromptu afternoon bath also works pretty well.

If your child wakes up too early in the morning and you go to bed way too late every night and really need some more morning sleep, here's an idea. First, put a dark shade or dark blinds in the child's room so the sun doesn't shine in their face at dawn. Then negotiate a good wake-up time with your child. Get them a digital clock and teach them how to tell time. Make a very large batch of pancakes and put them in the freezer. If the child stays quietly in bed until the appropriate time (8:30 in our house), they get waffles or pancakes for breakfast. This is a win-win situation because the child gets pancakes, which they love, and mommy is energetic and well-rested when she gets up. (Which is a requirement for children as hyper as mine.)

This just might be the most valuable tip of all. If your baby gets the stomach flu and is getting dehydrated because they can't keep anything down, drop a few drops of pedialyte into their mouth with a syringe. Wait ten minutes and if they kept that down, give them a few more drops. Every ten minutes increase the amount you give them until you are giving several ml at a time. You can stop once you've given approximately how much liquid your child eats total in one feeding. So for Sambo, when he was a newborn, I stopped once he got to 3 ounces of pedialyte (that is, I stop when he's had a total of 3 ounces). Now I stop when he gets to 6 ounces. It should take about an hour and you'll have to resume again for another feeding a few hours later. The work involved could prevent an ER trip since babies and small children get dehydrated very easily. Sambo had the flu three times and each time he was sick from anywhere between 7 and 10 days. Trust me, it works!

If your child wants you to buy them something, have them earn the money themselves. This is the very best lesson I learned from my parents and I am passing that lesson onto my children. I think children should understand how money works and should be accustomed to earning and spending and saving their money. When you look around at the state of affairs in this country, obviously a few parents forgot to teach their children about money. And those children have grown up to be terrible stewards of their family and business finances. So, the other week Buddy wanted a particular Halloween costume and I was unwilling to buy him another one. He already has all sorts of dress-up stuff, the one he wanted was expensive, and plus it was really lame. So, to make a very long story short, he decided to earn enough money to buy it himself. When all was said and done, G and I convinced him to wait until after Halloween because the costumes would be a lot cheaper. So he worked like a dog all week and the day after Halloween G took him shopping to find the perfect costume. He ended up choosing this and I think it was a very good choice. It's reversible!

Lastly, if your child stops taking a nap, give them a "quiet time" instead. In our house quiet time is usually in the afternoon while Sambo is napping. But I've been known to do an impromptu quiet time first thing int he morning if I need to get something done or if he's driving me crazy. Quiet time lasts 90 minutes and if he comes out for any reason, quiet time becomes 2 hours. This is the key to my happiness as a mother.

* * *

Now, if any of you wise parents have any advice about handling a smart mouth, please let me know. I have a few techniques and punishments for handling outright disrespect (which aren't really working either), but for today I need help with this type of smart mouth. Buddy has a real habit of using the things I say to him against me. How do I convey that I'm the parent and he's the child and some things aren't appropriate for children to say? Here are a few scenarios. Say your child is talking back. You ask them to talk respectfully and they reply, "I'm in a bad mood. And if someone is in a bad mood you should just ignore them. So just ignore me." Or one day I put him in time out for putting pebbles in our neighbor's air conditioner unit. He was calm the entire time. But when he came out he said, "I'm going to say this with my words. While I was in time out I was thinking I am very upset with you and you are very disrespectful." Or then there's the recent time when he said, "I am mad at you and want to say something to you but I'm not going to because it's too mean."

I mean, I've taught him not to yell or whine and to "use his words" which he obviously does. Except his words just don't sound so nice coming from a small boy. Where's the balance here?

Any advice? Please?

What Do You Want To Talk About?

I've got all sorts of things to blog about, but I just haven't been in the mood lately. Until today.

I considered blogging about my weekend. How I had a primary activity on Friday night where we practiced the primary program and served pizza to somewhere around 130 kids and teachers. Every single teacher showed up and all but five kids in the whole primary came -- and the pizza was totally eaten in about three minutes. That's what I call success and CRAZY! Oh, and I thought about blogging about my all-day adoption conference I was in charge of on Saturday. How over 80 people showed up (way more than I expected) so I had standing room only for the key note address. I was in charge of set up, take down, decorations, food, RSVPs, advertising, coordinating all speakers, mingling, helping ensure new couples feel cozy about adoption, convincing my husband that we need another baby, speaking in one of the workshops, etc. Oh, and then the next day we executed the primary program which was marvelous! It always is, but it felt nice that it was a success since I have an image to maintain, you know. I was so tired after primary was over I literally sat in a primary chair and had to pray for strength to walk to my car.

I considered blogging about how after I came home from church my my dear friend Shauna brought her two boys over to spend the next few days with us. You'd think that after my weekend, plus four boys under the age of five I'd be ready to be institutionalized. But my 48 hours with the boys is over and it was terrific. Yes, there were extra bums to wipe, shoes to put on, carseats to strap, meals to prepare and clean up, and silly jokes to laugh at... but in a way it was easier because I also had less entertaining and listening to do. Yep, I admitted it. Buddy's incessant talking and questions wear me out and drive my batty. For a solid 48 hours he had a couple other little people to talk with. Car rides were especially heavenly. In some sick way, I'm convinced more than ever I need and want more kids. Sorry G.

I considered blogging about how my wonderful spouse not only put up with my crazy weekend, but he put his shoulder to the wheel and did more than I could ever recap for the primary activity and adoption conference. Even though he said he'd rather have a colonoscopy than go to the adoption conference, he came and did all sorts of setting up and cleaning up and serving food. And he even pretended to be interested when a few people tried to shoot the breeze with him. Oh, and my mom not only babysat the boys all day Saturday, but had so many fun activities planned to do with them that my they were both mad at me the rest of the evening because I'm so boring.

I considered blogging about how for ten days straight at least one member of my family had the stomach flu. Bless the power of healing because it all ended in time for my big weekend.

I considered blogging about how G is going out of town tomorrow for the rest of the week. But I begged him to fly home before church on Sunday because there is nothing worse than wrangling a room full of hyper primary children AND my baby at the same time.

I considered blogging about last week's election and all my thoughts, feelings and opinions on that whole subject. I'm a little depressed it's over, actually. (Am I sick?!) I miss the Gordon Smith/Jeff Merkley ads. If Buddy chews with his mouth open these days we tell him to stop eating like Jeff Merkley (inside joke that only Oregonians will enjoy...). I didn't vote for Obama, but I'm not terribly disappointed. I've laid awake at night thinking about the election results and really I'm quite impressed by the way he inspires so many people. We always say we "wish there was someone with integrity running for president" and this year we had two men with a great deal of integrity and patriotism. I will pray that he can keep the level of hope strong so that the young people and really anyone who voted for the first time will not be disheartened when the state of the union doesn't change as rapidly as they thought (and he promised) it would. I'm mostly worried about the economy and just find it so strange that most people trust Obama with the financial crisis. I'll save my rant about that for another time, but clearly the majority of Americans disagree with me about basic economics. There is no way that "redistributing wealth" and funding all of his programs will work. No way. And after a conversation with my very smart accountant at the adoption conference on Saturday, apparently most of Americans disagree with him too.

And then I thought about blogging about how my baby gave me two kisses a couple of weeks ago but refuses to do it again. BUT! He does hold my cell phone to his ear all day. Is that funny, or pathetic?

But instead of going on and on, I'll attach two pictures of the cutest faces I've ever seen in my entire life.

Blast from the Past

A while ago, my mother got a recordable DVD player. We had asked her to transfer some of our old VHS videos onto DVDs. One particular tape I had was full of videos that I shot with my cousin. We were teenagers and it was fun to make up things to film. We thought we were super funny and creative.

A couple of nights ago, M and I were sitting on the couch and I decided to pull out the DVD. I had remembered laughing hysterically at some of our fake commercials and our three-part series about a banana named Mr. Bananahead. As the DVD was playing, M could not stop laughing. She wasn't laughing at the content of the videos, she was laughing at me. She kept saying things like "well, it's a good thing we didn't meet when we were teenagers" and "did your friends really think you were cool?" Long story short, I ended up fast-forwarding through most of it and vowed that next time I decide to watch old videos, I will either view it by myself or with my cousin. There was only one word to describe it: AWKWARD.

Halloween Recap

Here are a few highlights from Halloween at the G & M household.

• There's nothing like keeping the Halloween munchies at bay like a case of the stomach flu. A mild case for M and a nasty case for Sambo.

• Several costume ideas later, several hours of hard work for Buddy to earn money for a new costume, major negotiating to convince him he should wear the costume he already had and to save his money for a new discounted costume after Halloween, we finally persuade Buddy he should be Captain Jack Sparrow. But only after supreme-court worthy arguing from all parties involved and promises of really cool face paint if he'd wear the dang costume.

• G takes it upon himself to do a marvelous make-up job. Our neighbors are still talking about how cool Buddy looked! It's interesting that parenting brings out all sorts of unknown talents. (It turns out G is really good at drawing dragons and crocodiles as well.)
• G and Buddy have dinner and do some trick-or-treating with friends.

• M passes out candy at our house while trying to snuggle with Sambo on the couch and cleaning up approximately three rounds of vomit from the baby.
• A quick photoshoot with Sambo's dragon costume, just so the costume Buddy and I lovingly chose for him last year before he was even born could be put to sort-of good use.
• Buddy and G return to the house and do a bit of trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. Buddy is very excited to see all of the neighbors and tries to let himself into pretty much everyone's house.
  

• Grandma Debi comes over and ends up taking Buddy home with her to spend the night in order to save everyone's sanity.

Snow and Music

I had been looking forward to last weekend for a while. There are a few things in life that I live for. I got to do two of them this weekend.

Friday Night: For the last few years, I have been attending the annual Warren Miller ski movie. To anyone who hasn't ever been to this event, it is symbolic in that it represents the kick-off of the ski season. This year was no exception. The skiing and snowboarding was incredible, the soundtrack rocked, and everyone there was excited. The tricks some of the people were pulling were amazing. Makes me wish I were 10 years younger and had a lot more athletic ability.

Saturday Night: A number of months ago I was at one of my sister's house and we were checking out the free music videos that were on demand on cable. We watched a video from a band called Against Me! out of Gainesville, Florida. From the first time I heard them, I loved them. The music rocks. I managed to get all of their CDs and listen to them constantly. Saturday night they played at the Roseland in Portland. The show was incredible. The band was tight, the music was rockin, and the energy was high. I think a good time was had by all. I couldn't help but reminisce of the college days with my own punk rock band.

Male Bonding

I have been remiss in posting for a while. Not that I don't have much to say, since I have opinions on everything, but time constraints plus the fact that M is a lot more fun and entertaining to read than me have cause a time lapse.

Last weekend M had a church women's conference that she attended with her mom, aunt, and grandma. That meant that I had both of the boys all to myself for almost two full days. Now I'm sure that the mothers reading this are rolling their eyes, but truthfully, I was a little nervous. However, Jr, Sambo and I did manage and after the two days, the kids were fed, they got to have some fun, and they each had at least 4 fingers on each hand left when M came home. I even managed a lunch outting with coworkers for another coworker's last day. I'm not going to give a play by play of what we did because that is not the point of this. Rather I have two points.

First, I am extremely greatful to have a beautiful wife that works so hard to take care of the children. They have so many opportunities to learn and grow because of her and she is an amazing example for them and for me. I tell her time and time again that I am so glad I am not her. This is not to say that her role is not as important and that somehow she got the short end of the stick. But, it is to say that I am not capable of doing all that she does and would fail miserably if I had to.

Second, I absolutely love and adore my boys. There is no doubt that these kids were meant for us. Both of them have such unique personalities and strengths and talents. It is fun to be with them and watch them learn and grow. I can only hope that I don't some how mess them up. Hopefully, they will take more after their mother than me.

Spiderman

Buddy climbing at three years old

Buddy has a very unique talent. From a very young age he has been a climber.

Now, back when we we lived in married student housing in college we spent our time judging everyone that had kids (or two or three...). One particular set of parents "let" their child run all around the chapel during church. We said we'd never do that.

Then that same family showed up for church one day and their 2-year old daughter was in an arm cast because she had fallen off the kitchen table. To put it mildly, G and I freaked out. "Call DHS! We will NEVER let our children climb on the table," we said.

As a side note, wouldn't you know: Buddy was two years old when he escaped from nursery and lead my dear friend Shauna on a chase through another ward's sacrament meeting. He was yelling, "Get me! Get me!" and Shauna was very pregnant. And Buddy was just over a year the first time he climbed on the kitchen table. A lot of good judging does, we now realize.

By the time Buddy was two years old, his climbing had become a way of life, and for his third birthday, we bought him a climbing harness and got him started at the fabulous rock wall at our gym.

Buddy's first time climbing the rock wall -- third birthday

He spent most of the summer climbing the tree in our backyard.

...And he spent the rest of the summer really hoarking me off every time he'd climb over the fence to get out of our yard.

Check out those back and arm muscles!

Just last week at church I got chewed out because I was "letting" Buddy climb out the window in the primary room after church was over.

I can't imagine that his ability will serve him well in his life, but I hope it does because I'd hate for his amazing talent -- and my nerves (considering I'm petrified of heights) to be wasted.

Buddy and a friend scurrying up the mountain while on a walk in central Oregon

Notice he isn't wearing shoes or a harness here... Yikes!

The Good of the Economic Crisis

And the Bad of the Economic Crisis

We can't sell this:

Kinda strange. We put our house on the market and the economy immediately goes to pot. But at least we've got SNL to keep us cheery.

An Over-Active Imagination and The Effects of Stress on Children

And How They Inter-Relate

Buddy has a very active imagination. He goes from being a tiger and running around on his hands and feet and clawing at the tree bark with his claws to the point his fingertips become raw -- to being a sea monster -- to being a pirate -- to being everything in between -- all day long. When he dresses up, boy does he dress up (as well as dress everyone else around him including me and poor Sambo). When he's in character, he's in character.

The day before yesterday he came tearing into the kitchen where I was making dinner.

Buddy: I have been trying to decide what we should do for fun tomorrow.

Me: OK. Like what?

B: We should go to the refuge it it's nice weather. Or we should go to the zoo if it's nice weather. If it's not nice weather, we should go to St. Village.

M: What's St. Village?

B: It's that really fun place with the dragons and elephants and pirates.

M: I have no idea what you're talking about. Do you mean Enchanted Forest (an old-school "amusement park" near here.)

B: (Exacerbated) NO! I mean St. Village, not Enchanted Forest!

M: Have you been to St. Village before? Who did you go with?

B: I went with you, mom.

M: Where is it? How do we get there?

B: You go north, then south, then east, then west. You drive two miles an hour and it takes about forty minutes to get there.

M: I have no idea what you're talking about.

B: (Huffs) I'm just trying to use my imagination. Why can't you?

* * *

Buddy has had two nights of terrible nigh-terrors. Tuesday night was on-and-off crying and getting out of bed for about 2-3 hours which is extremely unusual for Buddy. It was annoying, but I couldn't sleep anyway and passed the time by reading out in the living room. I dismissed it thinking that would never happen again.

Wednesday on the other hand was horrible. He screamed and thrashed around in his bed for literally eight hours. He was hysterical, he was stiff as a board, he was screaming things I couldn't believe were coming out of his mouth. At first I was annoyed and thought he was being belligerent, then I became scared. I laid with him for a couple of hours in the wee hours of the morning and he told me all about the robots and mean scary men in his room. How they were cutting him up and he was bleeding really bad and how they were using his ceiling fan to poke him and how they were hurting Sambo and if I stayed in his room they'd hurt me "but don't go mom, I am so unbelievably terrified I can't have you leave my side." The terror in his crying and talking was unlike anything I've ever heard before. This whole time he was wide awake and talking totally coherently. But I'm sure he had to have been asleep. It was just so unlike the Buddy I know.

Much to my surprise, when the sun came up this morning, I realized he had been bleeding during the night. He had a terrible nosebleed that for whatever reason I never noticed during the night and blood was all over his bed and face. That obviously contributed to the realness of the dream. Today was a very rough day and I finally had to ban any talk of the night because it was stressing us all out.

I've been trying to figure out what caused this. And I've been trying to figure out how to prevent it from happening again. First of all, I greatly value my sleep. But more than that, there's nothing worse than seeing your child so upset and shaken to the core. Has he watched any scary movies lately? No. He watched Monsters Inc. with grandma the other day but he insisted these were NOT monsters in his room. They were real men and they were mean. He's watched Phantom of the Opera twice lately (his new obsession -- I know it's strange, isn't it?). I can't imagine that caused this, but maybe? Maybe an over-active imagination?

* * *

Although I'm starting to really form the opinion that children can really sense stress. We are relatively stressed around here. Nothing horrible has or is happening. Just the craziness of life. I feel like we're managing it well and quite frankly, I feel like I've been in a pretty good mood lately. Still, stress is stress and I just can't shake the feeling that maybe Buddy is sensing and reacting to the stress.

He's reacted to stress before. For a period of time a few years ago I spent way too much time helping a very needy "friend" with a whole bunch of drama in her life. Every time I got involved or we went to her house, Buddy lost it. It was weird. After a few times of that, I realized he could sense the stress in her home and literally couldn't handle it.

Exactly a year ago as a matter of fact in the midst of the extreme stress in our lives, Buddy's behavior was so horrible I seriously considered counseling for him and me. But then the stress improved and so did he.

* * *

What's the morale of this story? I don't know. But it worries me that a child's feelings can be so tender. And it really makes a case for doing everything possible to make the home a safe and happy place.

Interview with an almost 5 year old

So, since I haven’t posted for a while, I thought it would be fun to ask Buddy the same questions that M asked. Below are his answers. What I didn’t write down where the many things that he said I don’t do with him. He got tired of answering the questions about halfway through and started to add more commentary.

1. What is something dad always says to you? "I like to play with you and I love you!"

2. What makes dad happy? "When I listen to my parents."

3. What makes dad sad? "When I don't do stuff that you want me to do."

4. How does your dad make you laugh? "When you’re funny. This is the one we already did!”

5. What was your dad like as a child? "Played puzzles and played games and stuff."

6. How old is your dad? "21? Is that right?."

7. How tall is your dad? "30 pounds."

8. What is his favorite thing to do? "Go to SeaWorld with me"

9. What does your dad do when you're not around? "Go to the store."

10. If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for? "For doing stuff."

11. What is your dad really good at? "At fast running."

12. What is your dad not very good at? "Coloring stuff, like coloring in the lines.”

13. What does your dad do for his job? "Go to work and get some money for all of us."

14. What is your dad's favorite food? "Chicken and corn."

15. What makes you proud of your dad? "When you let me go to stuff like Disneyland and SeaWorld."

16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be? "He’d be Uncle Luke."

17. What do you and your dad do together? "Watch the Killers, play with cars and trucks, play dragons, and play pirates."

18. How are you and your dad the same? "We throw the balls at OMSI. Remember when you threw the balls at me? That hurt! Because we kind of look like the same."

19. How are you and your dad different? "My clothes, I think."

20. How do you know your dad loves you? "Because you give me hugs and kisses. I think that was the right answer."

From the Mouth of Babes Tag

I got this idea from Jackie. This is such a funny idea. I agree with her that a few of the questions made me feel really good. A few of them... not so much. Apparently from the perspective of my son, I have a real serious weight problem.

I interviewed Buddy (almost 5 years old) for the answers.

1. What is something mom always says to you? "I love you!"

2. What makes mom happy? "When I listen to you and obey Jesus."

3. What makes mom sad? "When I don't listen and obey."

4. How does your mom make you laugh? "I don't really know!!!!!"

5. What was your mom like as a child? "She helped her mom."

6. How old is your mom? "42" When I laughed he said, "I mean, 21."

7. How tall is your mom? "You are 840 pounds I think."

8. What is her favorite thing to do? "Playing with her kids"

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? "She works."

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? "Working"

11. What is your mom really good at? "Taking care of me."

12. What is your mom not very good at? "I don't know! Why are these answers so hard?!"

13. What does your mom do for her job? "She takes care of her kids."

14. What is your mom's favorite food? "Chicken I think."

15. What makes you proud of your mom? "When you forgive me."

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? "She'd be a car character."

17. What do you and your mom do together? "She helps clean up and she plays with me."

18. How are you and your mom the same? "We both came from Jesus and he wanted to make us the same."

19. How are you and your mom different? "Hmm. That's a really hard question."

20. How do you know your mom loves you? "Because she gives me hugs and kisses."

The Cutest Thing I've Ever Seen

I bet you're expecting pictures of my kids. Not this time...

On August 23rd an Asian elephant was born at the Oregon Zoo. It's been headline news ever since and Buddy and I have been anxious to go see him. The little baby was 286 pounds at birth and now at just over a month old, he's 350 pounds, but compared to his mommy and aunties, he's just tiny. Interestingly enough, his name is Samudra and since our little Sambo has some Japanese in him, we wish we would have thought to name him Samudra (Hindu for lord of the ocean). That's a cool name and if you saw Sambo in the bathtub, you'd realize that's a very appropriate name for him.

Anyway, we've seen pictures of Samudra on the news and online, but oh my... the pictures don't even do him justice. We timed our visit hoping the crowds would have died down a bit because poeple have literally been waiting hours to see him. My brother and his wife came with us and boy were we lucky to not have to wait at all to see him. We spent at least thirty minutes watching him. We talked with the zookeepers and oohed and awed over every cute thing he did. He walked between his mommy's legs and nursed and sniffed around. Just precious. The zookeepers told us all about his birth and all about the world-renowned program the Oregon Zoo has to breed endangered Asian elephants. I'm not a huge animal lover, but I was impressed. I think I am now. Oh, and while we were there a mom brought her baby boy who was born on the same day as Samudra to take pictures by the elephant. Seriously, what could be cuter?!

Overheard At the Park

The Setting

A bunch of little kids are playing in the big sand area at the park. A probably 10-year old girl is sitting on the button that controls whether more water is released into the sandpit. A 10-year old boy is standing in the sand trying to build some elaborate dam or something. The sand is totally saturated with water. There is actually more water in the pit than sand and every child in there is caked in mud from head to toe. It's a mother's worst nightmare. The boy approaches the girl.

* * *

Boy: Move so I can turn the water on.

Girl: No way! It'll create more of a mess than we already have. I'm trying to prevent the water from overflowing.

Boy: Mud is fun!

Girl: NO IT'S NOT!!!!!

Boy: You wouldn't know fun if it hit you in the face!

Girl: Yeah-because rolling in the mud is fun.

Boy: What's your definition of fun? The mall?

Girl: Uh-YES! (like duh!)

* * *

Despite threatening Buddy with his life if he stepped foot in that mud pit, I found him there an hour or so later. I couldn't get too mad since he had just been stung by a bee and at least he was playing and distracted from the agony of a bee sting.

It's very hard to tell, but he's in about three inches of mud. Notice his hands and wrists are buried. Soaked is an understatement.

It just amazes me that boys are the same from the time they're 9 months to the time they're an adult. But thankfully girls are too. My definition of fun happens to be the mall as well.

Old Maid

I've always been a big fan of playing card or board games. And it's pretty exciting that Buddy is finally getting to that age where it's enjoyable to play games with him. Fortunately for me, he's pretty competitive. Just like me. I'm not a poor sport or anything, but boy do I love to win.

I remember playing Old Maid with my mom when I was his age. I remember my mom laughing hysterically when I pulled the dreaded old maid card. And I remember being devastated when it happened. But then that joy -- absolute elation -- would come over me when my mom picked the card. My mom had a nasty technique to get me to pick the dreaded. She'd hold all of her cards in her hand in the traditional fan, but the old maid would be raised maybe a centimeter or so higher than the others -- to entice her naive child to pick the tallest card. I'm not sure how long it took me to catch on to her trick, but let's put it this way: it only took Buddy twice.

So tonight instead of going to the gym I decided to nurse a headache with a few rounds of Old Maid with Buddy. We hadn't played that game since he's been old enough to fend for himself, so I couldn't wait to put mom's technique to work. I raised the old maid higher in my hand, Buddy picked it, I erupted into a fit of hysterical laughter, which then sent Buddy into a fit of rage. Seriously, I wish you could have seen it. He was freaking out, sobbing, hitting me, throwing his cards, and yelling. I could not stop laughing, even though I knew I was hurting his feelings tremendously. He's only four years old, after all.

In the end, he won the first game, and I won the second. Wonderful times. The the main reason I even had these children is to torment them as much as my dear parents tormented me.

When I put him to bed, I told him how much fun I had and when he told me that I really hurt his feelings when I kept giving him the old maid, I had to carefully explain that I wasn't laughing at him per se, but I was just having so much fun. "And plus Buddy, you'll get to do that to your children one day."

Brotherly Love

One of my life's most pleasant surprises is how much Buddy and Sambo love each other. I wrongly assumed Buddy would be jealous, or would lose his patience with his brother, but not at all. Never. Buddy had a few behavioral issues in the months leading up to Sambo's arrival. And now I can see it wasn't stress about the upcoming addition to the family, but it was stress about *not* having his brother with him. Buddy recently asked me if I wanted Sambo really bad. I told him, of course I did. And he said, "Me too."

It brings me a great deal of joy to see the bond these two boys share. They a-d-o-r-e each other. Plus, these boys couldn't be more alike if they came from the same genes. Although they look nothing alike and Buddy is rough and Sambo is gentle, they are both chatty and busy and wiggly and happy and laugh at the same exact things. They both hate milk but love food, they both are short and stout, they both love swimming, they sleep well, neither has any issues with strangers, and they both love to play outside, and I'm pretty sure Sambo will follow in his brother's footsteps as a world-class climber.

I'm not naive enough to assume they'll never fight or anything, but so far Buddy is extremely protective of "his" baby. In fact, he tells me that when he grows up and is a dad, he wants Sambo to be his "kid." He calls Sambo his "best" and he prays for him about ten times each time he says his prayers. Buddy gets very worried when Sambo is sick and prays for him and tries to give him blessings. I can't even count the number of times I've walked into the room and found Buddy laying his hands on Sambo's head. And you should see the look on Sambo's face and hear the squeal come out of him when Buddy comes around. He refuses to wave at me or G, but every time Buddy walks in the room he waves at him and tries to get his attention.

Buddy wants to be like his baby brother. He insists on me combing his hair "just like his" after his bath and it's like World War III, to do Buddy's hair for church. "Sambo doesn't wear gel and hairspray. I want hair just like his." And of course, Sambo wants to be just like Buddy. Sambo refuses to play with baby toys. His favorite toys are Buddy's dragons, dinosaurs, and dress up clothes. And get this: Never in my life have I heard of this. Sambo is obsessed with Buddy's beloved teddy bear. Buddy has been in love with "Teddy" since he was a baby -- sleeps with him, cuddles with him, takes him on vacation, you know, his "lovey." Thankfully, Buddy doesn't mind sharing because Sambo loves Teddy too and laughs hysterically when he gets his hands on him.

Buddy actually gets offended if we forget to tell him if Sambo sprouted a new tooth, or learned to pull himself up or whatever. Sambo learned to crawl one night after Buddy was in bed, so I told him first thing the next morning. You would have thought I announced we were going to Sea World, he was so happy. And Buddy gets really impatient with me when I try to re-direct Sambo. Sambo is at that very enjoyable age when he gets into EVERYTHING, so I'm constantly sighing as I pull him out from underneath the computer for the 500th time in an hour. And Buddy always says, "It's fine, mom. He's just a baby." Sometimes Buddy's helpfulness isn't so helpful, though. One day I went outside to take the garbage out. Sambo started to cry because he loves to go outside too. So, Buddy decided he could be helpful by opening up the door and letting Sambo crawl outside. Because every mom wants to come around to the front of the house to see their infant sitting on the driveway. Or like the other day when Buddy opened up a new can of formula and started to make a bottle because he knew Sambo was hungry and I was busy talking on the phone.

They share a room and they both love it. Buddy gets so excited when we put them to bed at the same time, even though most nights we are so exacerbated by Buddy, we try to get him into bed first so we can feed Sambo in peace. But anyway, Buddy has expressed several times that he wishes he could sleep in the crib with Sambo. And a few months ago we went to Sunriver with a bunch of friends and stayed at a really nice house there. All the kids slept in a cool "kid" room, which had several bunkbeds. Buddy was excited at first to sleep in a bunkbed (because he wants one), but after more than an hour, he hadn't gone to sleep yet. I went in there to scold him, assuming he was distracted by the other kids (who were all asleep, by the way). But he said he didn't want to sleep with them. He wanted to sleep in the room with Sambo. As soon as we moved him to Sambo's room, he was asleep within minutes.

Nothing, I mean nothing warms a mommy's heart more than to see her children in love with each other. It's a blessing to be sure. And while it's good while it's lasting, at least I'll have these precious pictures and stories to remind me of the good ol' days when they start to lose patience with each other. But for now, I'm loving it.
*Note: We decided to change Pee-Wee's name. We were hoping a cool nickname would emerge, but alas after 9 months, nothing has. He is a boy of many nicknames at home, all stemming from his name. So we're going with one of them even though it's quite close to the real thing. I hope we don't regret this...